Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. But they grow so big that your shoes no longer fit and people call you a hobbit.

I wish I was a rock star.

Granted. You’re a rock star. Your fans never leave you alone. Your phone rings all the time, your email is flooded, you receive kilos of mail every day. People go through your trash to claim trophies and learn more about you. Fans stalk you, wait outside your residence and follow you around. Just like the paparazzi. You are never alone again. You also have your share of crazed haters who send you hate mail and threaten you. Sounds great, doesn't it?

I know that Feta is a specific Greek cheese. I also knew there is a Danish Feta, although I’ve never actually tasted it.
Yeah, I mean what we call brunost here.
I had to look up whey. Then I had to look at the ingredients list of the cheese! In order of amount the particular brand I use contains: whey, pasteurized goat’s milk (124 gram for 100 grams of finished goods), cream and pasteurized cow’s milk.
Apparently it’s an acquired taste.


I wish everyone realized how tasty our brunost is!

Granted. We spend our hard earned money on it and now we're broke.

I wish my TV received all the cable channels.

Granted! You get all of them! Too bad you hate most of them.

I wish for new accessories!

Granted. You receive boxes upon boxes of them, unfortunately the Fire Marshall finds out and declares your home a fire hazard.

I wish I was on the plane to Japan right now.

Granted, but that plane crashes on an island and you find yourself in an episode of Lost.

I wish I had something to drink right now besides water or milk.

Granted. Here’s some cod liver oil.

I wish I record my dreams.

Granted! But there are things in your dreams that can potentially cause you embarrassment, and the recordings of your dreams go viral on the internet and now everyone knows about them.

I wish that happy dreams came true.

If only!

Granted, but not all of them will and you can’t choose which ones will come true.

I wish to record my dreams but on a secure system where no one else can see them, and without any net access.

Granted! No one but you will see them, but you only have one chance to record your dreams and you upload them on your computer. Your computer gets fried, and all your files are lost, never to be seen again. Tough break!

I wish to move states.

Granted. Now you can move states around. Tell me, how exactly does that help anything?

I wish to never have a nightmare again.

Well, I could put certain states I want to travel around closer together on the map, and move the ones I don't about farther away.

Granted! Now all your dreams are just so bizarre and senseless.

I wish I had some gum.

Granted. Here are some ghost gums. Don’t blame me if you don’t have space for them.
You were the one who wanted them!

I wish I could leave my country.

Granted! You leave Norway and you now live in England, but Germany has just declared war with England. England is not a safe place to be, nor is it a quiet one.

I wish for an awesome score on my upcoming exams.

Last edited by Shikari on 26 Oct 2013, 5:36 am, edited 2 times in total.

You do know that this isn’t 1940, right?

Granted. Your score is awesome – for everyone else! You make them all look so good! And they all agree that your score is awesome. You don't think so, but majority rules.

I wish I could live in PEACEFUL England.

It's to get my license for my career.

Granted! England is all butterflies and unicorns, but the weather is horrid almost everyday.

I wish I could go spelunking!