Corrupt A Wish

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Granted but they’re all so full of pesticides it’s not safe to neither eat nor carve them.

I wish there were wild turtles where I live and that they were adapted to the climate here.

Granted, but there are so many turtles in Norway now. So many if fact that you can't walk without having to step over them. People are running them over with their cars because they are all over the roads.

I wish to sleep well before I have to go to work.

Granted. You’ll sleep well, unaware of the bedbugs who feast! Good night!

I wish for there to be passages where turtles can safely cross roads (animals passages do exist).

Granted, but traffic gets held up for hours because they take so long to cross the road – especially a group of them.

I wish for a nice bowl of pumpkin soup, with cream.

Granted, but the cream turns out to be old and sours the flavor.

I wish I had logs for my fireplace.

Granted, you borrowed them from your neighbors woodpile. However, it had rained earlier in the day, and the logs are still wet.

I wish the Cardinals hadn't lost the World Series!

They didn't. Your roommate had your TV tuned in to an alternate version of the World Series where, in fact, they won.

I wish I was as good looking as Brad Pitt.

Granted, and you become extremely popular and famous for your good looks, but this leads you to become completely jaded.

I wish I could be happy.

Granted, but now your depressed friends ignore you because they think you're looking down on them.

I wish I knew how to drive a stick shift car.

Granted. You know how to, but the icy road causes you to crash the car. You lose your new found skill due to the trauma.

I wish Halloween mattered more where I live.

Granted! Halloween is every Norwegian's favorite day of the year. However, you receive more than 1000 children at your front door trick-or-treating. You run out of candy to give them. They get angry and tepee and egg your whole building, and throw rocks through your windows. Happy Halloween. Also, everyone is in such a Halloween spirit that they turn into whatever their costume is in real life.

I wish to watch Halloween movies all night!

Granted, you start watching the first movie. What you didn’t know is that Samara (Sadako/ Eun-Suh, which ever version of the Ring you prefer), has taught her horror buddies how to leave 2D and enter the real world. They’re all waiting and the moment you stat the movie, they surround you; Jason, Freddie, Michael, Leatherface, El Blanco… You name it, they’re there. And they’re true to their stories. You won’t be watching many movies, but you’ll sure live them!


I wish my building was invisible to children when we’re out of Halloween treats, and that I and everyone else turned back to being themselves when taking off the costumes.

granted-but now you can't get in

I wish I had a sexy nurse at this time

Just for Halloween, I wish your nurse turns into Nurse Ratched, until midnight.


Sylkat

Wish granted but she kills you and gets away with it
I wish for some Halloween candy.

Here's your candy.....it's invisible and has no taste.


I wish for a new front door.


Sylkat