Corrupt A Wish

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Granted! You live in a little villa in Italy, but it catches on fire and burns to the ground. Also, they outlawed have turtles as pets there, but you break the law and keep some. You get a hefty fine for having them.

I wish to never ever develop a peanut allergy. That would suck royally.

Granted, but you'll be allergic to everything but peanuts and water.

I wish I had a jet-pack

Granted, but it craps out and you fell to the ground, breaking every bone in your body.

I wish to not be allergic to anything. Not food , indoor and outdoor allergens, animals, medicine, pollutants, metals, nothing.

Granted, but all your food is poisoned, your water is contaminated, all mammals around you have rabies and a knack for attacking you, you're so sickly you'll need every single medication in the world before you get well, and your area is so polluted you can't see more than about 3 feet due to the smog,


I wish I could live in a fire-proof house without asbestos, in a country where pet turtles are and will stay allowed.

Granted! Your house is fire proof and asbestos free, but it floods every year. You live in an area where there is lots of turtles and you can have them as pets, but they are all affected by epticemic Cutaneous Ulcerative Disease (SCUD)/ Shell Rot.

I wish to live in an area free of smog.

Granted, there is no smog, but there is radon gas.

I wish to have all the turtles treated for shell rot and to have my house better insulated against flooding.

Granted! All the turtles get treated for shell rot, but the treatment isn't working. It only sped up the process. Your house is better insulated against flooding, but a big storm comes along and a tree lands right on your roof. Your roof is severely damaged, and so is most of your living room. Also, the tank that you kept your turtles in breaks into a million pieces. The turtles are injured when that happens.

I wish for a new tennis racket.

Granted, but it's a poorly made rip-off. The first time you use it, the cords snap and hits your eye, blinding you on said eye.

I wish for my house to not be hit by a storm, and for my turtles' medication to work.

Oh, no!

Granted! The medicine works and the shell rot is cured. Your house is safe from the storm, however, you are standing outside during the storm and are knock unconscious. When you come to, you don't remember who you are or anything about your life. You end up in the hospital for observation where they serve liver at meals.

I wish to not be blinded in a freak tennis racket incident, or in any other way.

The Fairy of Opthalmology grew you three more eyes to make up for the blinded one.

I wish for a hot fudge sundae.


Sylkat

Granted. You will not have a spoon to eat it with.

I wish for no more natural disasters.

Granted, there are no more natural disasters, only man-made ones. Off-shore oil drilling leads to earthquakes and tsunamis. Plastics in the oceans kill all marine life. Manmade greenhouse gases makes global warming lead to warmer, wetter and wilder weather, and tropical diseases and vermin spread as a result of the artificial climate change. These diseases are nothing compared to the ones that escape the research facilities for biological warfare though. Acts of terrorism become so commonplace they don’t even make the news anymore. And in the end, global thermonuclear war is inevitable. But have no fear, none of it is natural.


I wish I could remember who I am!

Granted! You remember who you are, but you can't remember who anyone else is. Also, you forgot that you hate liver, and so you must learn the hard way just how nasty it is all over again

I wish to continue to have two seeing eyes, and only two.

Granted. You have only two seeing eyes. The three eyes Sylkat’s Fairy of Opthalmology gave you are all blind now. They’re still there though. But like I said, you have two seeing eyes and only two.

I wish to not have to learn all over again how nasty liver is.

Granted! You remember the nastiness that is liver, but you can't remember if you like eyeballs or not. A nice pot of eyeball soup is brought to you. Have fun!

I wish to not have any extra eyes, blind or not. I only want two eyes that are seeing.

Granted, the extra eyes magically vanished. The laws of magic are fickle and the loss of your extra eyes changes your vision. Now you get x-ray vision. Cool? Nuh-uh! Try gross. You always see right through everyone, literally. And closing your eyes changes nothing. Your powers become known and people flock to you for a free x-ray examination. On the plus side you also see ultraviolet light and can enjoy the sight of budgie birds like never before. You’ll also enjoy their innards of course.

I wish to remember that I don’t want eye balls before the soup enters my mouth.