Corrupt A Wish

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Granted! You remember all the food that you hate, and you avoid them. Too bad you weren't told that your next meal was a big helping of liver and eyeball pie. The liver and eyeballs are all chopped up, and you can't tell what it is. Yuck!

I wish poachers would stop killing elephants in Africa for their ivory tusks.

Granted, now they kill them for their meat. The Indian elephants are still killed for their ivory.

I wish there were no poachers.

Granted, Skilpadde! No more poachers! Now all the people who were once poacher are now terrorists.

I wish I hadn't burned the crap out of my fingers today.

Sorry you burned your fingers. Hope they feel better
Granted but you sprain your ankle instead.
I wish it was tomorrow

That is so much worse.

Granted! It's tomorrow, but you will find that once you get there, everything goes wrong.

I wish to not sprain my ankle or injure myself in any way, or be injured by someone else or anything else.

...

Wish granted. You now can't feel anything
I wish Carrie Underwood's Sound of Music was on now

Granted! It's on at the same time I'm writing this (which is 1 am my time), your time is later I think. You're asleep. Sad day.

I wish I could sleep, but I'm looking so forward to tomorrow that I can't.

Granted, You can sleep but it'll be such an interrupted sleep that you'll wake up tomorrow more tired than if you had just stayed awake.

I wish I was a powerful politician.

Granted, but you are corrupt.

I wish I was better at photoshop.

Granted, but now any pic you post anywhere is subject to disbelief. And you’re so good at it it’s believed that you have to have taken the pic from a professional so all your pics are deleted for fear of breaking copyright laws.

I wish to be a powerful politician whose decisions aren’t for sale.

Granted! However, giant corporations want you out of office because you refuse to conform to what they want you to do for them.

I wish political third parties were more mainstream.

Granted. Political third parties are now mainstream. Their elected officials, however, are yawning bores when they get to the podium.

I wish I had the strength to rip a phone book in half.

Granted! You are quite strong, but only as long as you never cut your hair. Upon cutting your hair, all your strength will be gone. You're like Samson. Now everyone is after you with a pair a scissors.

I wish I wasn't so worn out.

Granted. You have the stamina of a gazelle and can run as fast as Usain Bolt. Now, sports companies and sneaker businesses are harassing you to endorse their products.

I wish I could sing like Stevie Wonder.

Granted, you sing like him, but you're also blind like him.

I wish my country would allow turtles.