Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, but only because your country has developed a taste for turtle soup and turtle-neck sweaters.

I wish I could meet Santa Claus in real life. The real one, not those fake ones you see in shopping centres all over the world.

Granted, but the Easter Bunny was there and he pooped chocolate eggs all over you.

I wish I were good looking like Captain America

Granted. You have his good looks but now you get no peace as women everywhere, and a small contingent of men, follow you everywhere.

I wish I could play the piano like Billy Joel.

Granted, but you are also sixty years, like he is.


I wish for a pop-up tent.


Sylkat

Your wish is granted, but your pop-up tent is alive and eats you in your sleep

I wish I had the mind capacity to invent a machine that I could hook to my head and imagine an entire dimension, and then enter that dimension, and also other dimensions that have already been created by others with the same brain capacity

I believe it is called a television...

There, now your wish is granted!

I wish for longer battery life in my iPad Mini.


Sylkat

Granted! The batter life lasts 3 times as long, but it also takes 3 times longer to charge up.

I wish I do things that I hate at warp speed, so I can get them over with.

Granted, but while you're off at warp speed time slows down for you. When you're done doing what you hate, you'll find that years have passed by for everyone else.

I wish nothing boring ever needed be done

Granted! Now all the things that need to get done will keep you busy. So busy in fact, you start to really stress out about it.

I wish to not get so busy that I miss out on other things.

You had better stay clear of superluminal speeds then!

Granted, you won't be so busy that you miss out on other things. You might have to take the occasional dose of adderall, though.

I wish I didn't have concentration problems.

Granted! You now concentrate so much that the rest of the world goes away. It's hard for you to snap out of your concentration mode.

I wish I was a speed painter.

Granted, you’re a speed painter, but as a result your paintings look as if they were made by a small child.

I wish I was the world’s best author.

Granted! You are the world's best author! Too bad you are the only one who knows though.

I wish when people go shopping that they would put things back exactly how they found it instead of just leaving it all messed up or in random places.

I'm especially happy to see frozen food left behind in aisles.

Granted, but now they spend so much time finding out exactly where the merchandise stood and in the same condition. The stores are now full of people measuring where to put things and drying off fingerprints etc. The stores are so crowded it'll take you hours to get from one side to the other. Always.

I wish I could play every musical instrument there is.

Of all the nerve!

Granted! You can play them all, but you are terrible at every one of them expect for one...the tuba. Oh, the tuba...haha!

I wish I was better at writing.

Granted, your cursive is now beautiful. No-one ever had better handwriting than you. The content though…

I wish I could play every musical instrument I wanted and play them so well I could be professional if I wanted to.