Corrupt A Wish

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Granted! You aren't sick. Your injured instead. Severely so at that.

I wish it would warm up outside...brrrr.

Granted. It'll warm up outside... when spring arrives! Enjoy the winter first!


I wish I had remembered to water my plants. Even succulents need water it seems...

Granted! You remembered to water them, but when you go to do so, you find that all your plants have when trampled through by little critters.

I wish spiders didn't exist.

Trampled by critters so many floors off the ground? Now I'm scared!!

Granted. Spiders cease to exist, but dolls come to life. Cute antique dolls, newer dolls, all watching yo- oops I mean, all looking at their surroundings. Surely they're not watching you. Right?

I wish to find no evidence of critters in my home!

Granted! You don't find any evidence, but they're there waiting in the shadows.

I wish for all dolls would go up in flames.

No!

Granted. All the regular dolls go up in flames, breaking the hearts of innocent little girls everywhere. The possessed dolls survive the fire though. They're demons, they're used to eternal hell fire, you think a puny little pyre will destroy them? They'll be baaack, and they'll be looking for the person who ordered them burned. Fire may not harm them permanently, but the don't appreciate the attempt to kill them off. I think you'll get real well acquainted with Chucky, Glen/da, Tiffany, Talky Tina, Slappy, and the rest of them.


I don't wish there to be critters at all in my home, not in the light, not in the shadows.

Granted! There are no critters in your home at all, however, that includes all photographs, books, etc. that contain any animals at all. All your pics of your beloved pets are destroyed in the fire with the dolls. That's really sad.

I wish I had proof read my last wish.

Wow, you just found one of my fears.

Granted. You proof read it, but it didn’t change the outcome of your wish.

I wish to never lose the pics of my beloved pets, nor my ability to see them.

Oh, I'm so sorry!
Granted! You never lose those precious photos, or your ability to see them.

I wish demon dolls would get destroyed in the fire.

No worries! It’s not like I don’t tease you all the time.
I just now noticed that you had changed the original before I posted my reply. Relax, I know you didn’t mean anything. You didn’t even know!

Granted… except…. Well demons don’t die in fire, in fact all sources say they’re immortal, so the demons must be exorcized first. Otherwise they’ll just be recycled and still be part of the plastic, as was the case for Chucky. So you’ll have to perform an exorcism and send the demon back. Make sure not to make eye contact with it, least it possesses you. THEN you can burn the doll.

I wish my above corruption doesn’t make me look like someone who does nothing else than read and watch horror 24/7!

Granted, but then I won't share with you some of the creepiest urban legends that I know.

I wish I could beat this level of Candy Crush that I've been on for days now. It's evil!

Creepy urban legends? I’m almost drooling now! Tell me, tell me, tell me! Pretty please!

Granted, you beat the level. You thought that one was evil? Haha, wait till you see the next!

I wish to know all creepy urban legends there are. In fact I wish to know everything there is to know about horror and all things creepy.

Granted, but you become so obsessed by urban legends that they consume your every waking hour. No more time for your turtles.

I wish for a bowl of white chili.

No!

Granted, here’s a bowl of white chili. The white is mildew btw.

I wish to never not have time for turtles.

Granted, but turtles are all you have time for. You don't eat, sleep, bathe, and you go to the bathroom in your pants. How long would that last?

I wish my grandma would turn in her drivers license.

The nerve!

Granted, she tries to turn in her license but she has a hard time explaining to the cop what wrong it did.

I wish for it to be abundantly clear that I have all the time in the world for turtles while still eating, sleeping, bathing and going to the bathroom in the bathroom,not in my pants, thank you very much.