Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. (Me, too. I don't want to corrupt your wish. But you might find yourself lonely after a time.)

I wish to have a collection of exotic fish.

Granted. Your collection of exotic fish arrives, unfortunately, the water you'd prepared in your aquarium had the wrong pH value and all the fish end up belly up in one day.

I wish I was a Nascar race car driver.

Your wish is granted. You are a NASCAR race driver. But you end up crashing and dying on your first lap of your first race.

I wish to be a professional musician.

Granted. You sing back-up for Barry Manilow.

I wish to have more books.

Granted. Every single thing you now or ever own, including food and your toilet, turns into a book.

I wish I lived in Seattle.

granted, you now live in Seattle lol

I wish I had a time machine

Granted, but people think that you are too pushy.

I wish for a new laptop.

Granted, you get a nice new Chinese one. It turns out it's full of spyware and all your information is stolen.

I wish I hadn't heard of that!

Granted and you've lost year outer ears, leaving you with the inner mechanisms common to turtles.

I wish I knew where the stock market was going for the next day.

The stock market is closed today, because all of the employees are standing in line at the Apple Stores, Walmart, and See's Candy Stores to shop on Black Friday.


I wish they wouldn't behave badly in parking lots, having epic battles over parking spaces.

But I know that they will, anyway.


Sylkat

Granted, and it sparks a mass riot which spreads across the nation and destroys all civilization as we know it.

I wish I had an endless supply of coffee.

Granted! You practically have coffee running through your veins. You have so much caffeine in your system that you overdose and die from it.

I wish I wasn't anemic.

Sorry...

Granted. But now you have so much iron that metal detectors react to you on airports etc. You also make compasses malfunction.

I wish I didn't have asthma

Thanks, but it's just temporary.

Granted! You don't have asthma, but you do have chronic bronchitis.

I wish to never experience bronchitis again.

Granted, but you will get scurvy instead


I wish to not get chronic bronchitis