Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. You are now one of Santa's little elves.

I wish my nephew stopped playing Angry Birds

Granted, now your nephew has found a new annoying game to play.

I wish I could slow down time.

Granted. You now look very silly moving twice as fast as everyone else.

I wish I could get my act together.

Granted. You get it together, but only for a short while before you let everything fall apart again.

I wish holiday shoppers weren't so annoying.

Granted. They no longer rush in line or flock to the registers. This, unfortunately, leads to a decline in the GDP which means less money to social service programs.

I wish The Sex Pistols had recorded a second album.

Granted, but it's just a remix of their first album, and the first was better anyway, so it's kind of a waste.

I wish I had made the jello yesterday like I meant to.

Granted, but you accidentally left it out on the counter, so the edges are dry and crusty. Yuck.

I wish I didn't stim.

Wish granted; now you 'Vogue' constantly.

I wish that I lived in a cute little cottage.


Sylkat

Granted. You live in a cute little house. Then Hansel and Gretel come by, and you devise an ingenious plan to eat them.

I wish I had a pair of new dress shoes.

Granted, but they don't fit quite right and you end up with blisters on your feet.

I wish I wasn't so wiped out tonight.

granted you are now so full of energy and enthusiasm that you spend the night dancing and doing all the things you love. only now you are completely wiped out for the entire month.

I wish that more people liked me

Granted, but they include strange people like me.

I wish I didn't have to drive 5 hours tomorrow.

I love strange people, stranger the better as far as im concerned. thanks

granted you drive 3 hours tomorrow and break down on busy highway. bummer

I wish I was ridiculously rich

Granted, but you have to give 1/2 to me, because I granted your wish.

I wish I had a completely new wardrobe

granted but none of it will fit

I wish my girl cat would stop bringing mice into the house in the middle of the night for me to rescue

Granted! Now she brings bats, snakes, and birds into your house.

I wish for it was Tuesday tomorrow.