Corrupt A Wish

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Wish granted...you now have fresh ground coffee of the finest quality....oh, wait...sorry, that seems to be twenty or so pounds of Crystal Light, and in your most UN-favorite flavor!

Oh, well, you have something to drink, anyway!

I wish that I had a TinyHouse.


Sylkat

Granted, but all your friends are so fat they can't visit.

I wish every day we had ideal weather.

Granted! Everyday is perfect weather, but the lack of rain leads to a drought for 7 years.

I wish the winter weather would hold off just a little bit longer.

Granted, but on Dec 4th there is no more postponing it!

I wish I had a pet dragonfly.

Granted, but your pet dragonfly dies fairly quickly, for they do not have a long lifespan.

I wish ordering a pizza didn't cost so much.

Granted, ordering a pizza doesn't cost much. The price of the actual pizza and its delivery will reach record high price though.

I wish I could see the first turtle that ever was.

Granted, but you will have to travel back in time so far that your time machine breaks down. You are favorite stuck in the time of the first turtle there ever was.

I wish I had remembered to call my dentist back to schedule my appointment today.

Granted, you remembered, but your dentist forgot. So you go to your scheduled appointment only to find there is no time for it that day.

I wish the sky would be green a day, it'd just be cool to see.

Granted, but when the sky turns green, that means a tornado is near. You never get the change to see the tornado, it's too late. It's right upon you. Your building is destroyed, along with all your belongings.

I wish my brother would stop nagging everyone to do things for him that he could do himself, and wouldn't dare do the same things for anyone else in return.

Granted, he'll develop a hysterical blindness of sorts, so he's psychologically incapable of doing them. He'll ask everyone to do those things and everything else as well for him now, and since he developed that condition he can't do anything for anyone.You'll also find that he will be as grateful as Scrooge on a bad day.

I wish I could've gotten to know my great-grandfather, he sounded like a lot of fun

No.

Granted! You met him, and you really enjoyed his company. However, you only got to meet him once, and that was it.

I wish I had a set of new tires for my car.

Granted:
All 4 look like that.

I wish I could go to Mars

Now who would put boots on all 4 of my tires? Just one boot would keep me from being able to drive away.

Granted! You go to Mars, and are stuck there. Forever! There are no turtles on Mars.

I wish I had some gummy bears right now.

I'm not taking any chances! Oops, I mean, I wouldn't want to discriminate against any tire! I was brought up in a social democracy after all.


Granted, you get all seasons of these gummy bears:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmpo1NhgAlU[/youtube]

Mars is getting lonely. I wish there were turtles on Mars and that they were adapted to Martian climate!

Well, that is definitely not what I had in mind.

Granted! Turtles are adapted to Mars, but their lifespan is dramatically shorter than what they are on Earth.

I wish I hadn't caught my fingers in the car door tonight. Ouch.

It's not? How surprising! I thought I totally nailed it!

Ouch! Really sorry about your fingers!

Granted, you didn't catch your fingers in the car door. Your car might be stolen though, since you forgot to lock it. Of course, with those wheels they may not get far lol.

I wish I could send a Martian spider (they're huge!) to Earth.