Corrupt A Wish

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Oops I got this thread confused with the "next person to post" thread. Sorry.

I wish the moon were made of cheese.

Granted. It is all limburger cheese, whose stench carries to Earth.


I wish for nose plugs to evade that odor.

Granted, but now you look silly.

I wish you all a happy holiday season.

Wish granted, but turns out the reason we all have a happy holiday season is because we took all your money from your bank account and squandered it on useless items that nevertheless bring us joy.

I wish this burn on my alveolar ridge would heal soon.

Granted, but people run away and scream at the words "alveolar ridge."

I wish that the pope would visit me for Christmas

Granted, the pope visits you for Christmas, but as you said in another thread you work on Christmas, so you're not home when he pops by, and he's a very busy man so he can't wait around.

Granted. The Northern Lights are serenely breathtaking, leaving you gasping for air during its awesome presentation.

I wish I lived in a condo.

Granted. It is 100 square feet.

I wish chocolate burned away body fat.

Granted! Chocolate burns body fat, but in all the wrong places.

I wish I could go to a tree farm this year like I did when I was a kid, and pick out that perfect Christmas tree.

Granted, but you have to go Hazleville and face the Great White Pine first.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81Kv9mGEcxk[/youtube]

If you survive that, you can go to the tree farm, but you have to bring Phoebe along and she gets to pick the perfect tree.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XeJWQ4ktUXU[/youtube]


I wish to never meet trees like the ones in the "Trees" horror movie parody series

Granted. But you are doomed to encounter other creatures, such as your crazy uncle Zachariah, you know, the one with the unsuccessful lobotomy, who will arrive for Christmas carrying his soiled underwear in a knock-off Coach purse which he stole from his transvestite zombie friend Jamie, who arrives with Zachariah.

I wish my credit card debt were reduced by $15K.

granted-you next 10 pay checks will be 0.00

I wish everyone who posts here would send me one dollar(come on, it's the holidays )

Granted, so here we ... oh no. Well wouldn't you know it ... I'm in credit card debt! So sorry.

I wish more people enjoyed doing organic chemistry at home.

They do but some accidentally set off explosions which gets the Dept. of Homeland Security on them.

I wish I owned a meth lab.

Granted. You begin to operate a meth lab, mix the chemical properly, but no matter how well you follow the directions, all you end up with are Flintstones Vitamins.

I wish I had a lifetime supply of peanut butter.

Granted, but you get sick of peanut butter very quickly.

I wish my bank account magically replenished itself.