Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, but that includes turtle soup (which you love).

I wish it was time for breakfast. I'm hungry.

So not what I meant!

Granted, it’s time for breakfast and you’re still up.

I wish to never do anything but hate turtle soup, and love all things about turtles.

This I know

Granted, but so many turtles are being used to make turtle soup that they soon will be extinct. Forget about conservation laws, that's all in the past now.

I wish to get back on a regular sleep schedule.

Granted, you’re back on a regular sleep schedule. For a toddler! You go to bed at 6 PM and sleep for 14 hours. Around noon you need to nap.

I wish for no-one to ever wish to kill turtles or make turtles into soup.

Granted.

I wish some egg rolls to eat. That sounds so good right now.

Granted, you go out to get some, but you slip and hit and your head. You get up and feeling fine you continue. Back home with your acquired egg roll you dig in but find them no good. You never taste another good egg roll again. It seems the like for this food was knocked out of you in the fall. You still crave it though. How sad.

I wish I wasn’t so scared of doctors.

Granted, but now doctors are scared of you.

I wish I can go forth with my jaw surgery so I can get rid of these migraines.

Granted!


I wish the doctors would let me know why they’re afraid of me

Granted, but there answer is an embarrassing one.

I wish I didn't have to work tomorrow with my least favorite manager.

Granted, you’re fired.

I wish I could find the bracelet that got lost so many years ago.

Noooo!

Granted! You find in the P-trap of your sink, covered in gross disgustingness.

I wish houses were self cleaning.

Granted, but houses are very shy, so they demand the utmost privacy when they clean themselves. They will wrap themselves in shower curtains and you will have to leave until they’re done.

I wish I could be hired as a Ghost Buster.

Wish denied!

I wish nights lasted longer.

lol why?


I wish so too! Granted! Now every night will be a polar night.


I wish I was a medium.

Because I felt like it.

Granted, but you are only able to make contact with demons.

I wish I could see the lush green country of Ireland.

Granted, you see the beauty of the Emerald Isle. Then you see no more as you are blinded by a bomb placed by the not-so-green Real IRA. If you can catch a leprechaun, maybe he can grant you a wish.

I wish I could summon a demon and have it do my bidding.