Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. It is so hot that you burn your mouth.

I wish leaves would rake themselves.

Granted - now rakes have taken over the world.

I wish the room would vacuum itself.

Granted - the vacuum's insatiable dust lust will not be satisfied by merely dusting your room and it will continue to inhale matter until it has devoured the very universe.
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I wish I could be transported into the world in which my favourite video game takes place.

Granted you are now taken into the hardest boss battle with one life, no applicable skills, and no weapons. good luck

i wish for a peach

Granted. But it is full of worms.

I wish I can have an gold apple

Granted, but first you must pay $50,000 dollars.


I wish for 115 to be said.

Granted. It’s said by someone on the other side of the world and you never hear it.

I wish I could ride an elephant right now.

By the way, it’s nice to see this thread again. I hope it doesn’t get locked for having been revived after so long.

isn't it.

your wish is granted, but you ride alongside an annoying mahout who keeps nagging you for spare change so he can take the tram to the brothel.

i wish i had one extra proton.

Granted. Unfortunately, the proton was added to an atom of Molybdenum found in your body, turning it into Technetium. You are now mildly radioactive and have a bear of a time traveling through airports.

I wish to be the first to discover an Ignoble Gas.

Granted. You discover it because, somehow, your house gets flooded in it.

Hm…, just silently suffocating won’t cut it, will it? So, yeah, you can detect it in time because it smells really … ignoble. Oh, and you can’t get rid of the stench for years

I wish I could wield a sword made of technetium, no matter how briefly, and live to tell the tale.

Through a freak accident your technetium sword transmutes to unununium and annihilates you along with itself.

I wish neutrinos were visible...

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"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Granted. You gain microscopic vision at the cost of "regular" vision so all you can see now are subatomic particles.

I wish that the energy from lighting could be harvested.

done. it can only be harvested when the cranberries are ripe, plump and the bog is flooded, it then has to be thoroughly washed and disinfected before being converted for use in lamps.


i wish Kolkah would vacuum her carpet, IIRC it is always as a tsunami has impacted the scene.

Granted. The vacuum goes bezerk and vacuums out everything in the room making it empty.

I wish all the popcorn kernels would pop without any burnt popcorn.

Granted, but when one kernel pops, all kernels pop worldwide, leading to multiple fatalities and the global banning of corn.
I wish I had a new phone.

granted - you are now the owner of a n old decrepit pay phone that has been planted in your living room, with rates increasing exponentially the longer you call. it's new to you!

i wish matter was banned.