Humor: "Autism is caused by ________."

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Autism is caused by getting your head cropped

Autism is caused by what has been said above! ^^

Autism is caused by gluten free diets.

Autism is caused by gluten fingers

Autism is caused by going to the washroom too many times a day

Autism is caused by an inverted polarity in the organic magnetism of the head. But i reckon i'm having trouble deciding which pole should be positive and which negative. How did they assign the polarities in classic magnetism?

Autism is caused by drinking all these caffeinated drinks, just to find out that tea was always the best one for you, all along. Grrr.

Autism is caused by procrastination

Autism is caused by intense sunlight.

Autism is caused by having a meltdown

Autism is caused by too much caffeine.

Autism is caused by too much sugar.

Autism is coused by food colouring.

Autism is caused by food poisoning.

Autism is caused by computer screens.

Long ago, and far away...

I mean, In the distant future, in an altrenate diminsion...

The supreme emporer rules with an iron fist. Nobody can question his absolute reign. Why? because the supreme emporer is the greatest bully ever! He can dish out an insult to anybody who defies him that is so witty, so clever, so belittling, and delivered with such charisma and comedic timing that his victim becomes so self-concieous that they surrender to him to save their social life. So everybody bows to this supreme imperial bully.

everybody... except one!

The maginally displeased scientist, the only man in the entire universe that doesn't care what other people think about him, refuses to bow to the imperial bully. He tries to set the people free by delivering comebacks to the Imperial bully's insults, but they all go over everybody's head!

So for his safety, the maginally displeased scientist sails to his island labrstory of supreme solitude in his tie-dye patterened chariot pulled by genetically engineered trout, to live a peacful life free from peer pressure and mob mentality, and full of kittens and cheese.

But the imperial bully is angry that there is one who can resit him, and so, at the threat of cracking wise about their mamas, he rallys his slaves to besige the marginally displeased scintist's island, and force him to submit to the imperial bully's regin... WITH VIOLENCE!

With only a school of gentically modified trout to defend him, the marginally displeased scientist knows he cannot resist the force of every single person on the planet. and once the entire world is under the imperial bully's control, what then? will he take over the entire universe? he MUST BE STOPPED! but how?

The marginally displeased scientist gets out his time machine, and using some of his own DNA creates a mutagin that will cause people to not care what others think about them, and puts it into the waters of primordial earth. Thus creating an altrenate timeline where people will be born... WITH AUTISM!

Then, using his interdiminsional door, he visits earth in the distant future, and rallies earth's now large autistic populuation to his cause, and takes them back to his timeline to defeat the imperial bully and free all the people enslaved by him!

So as the ancient viking cobblers never used the leather leftover from making a boot so there would be enough leather leftover to make the boot used to rip Fenirir in half, so too must we never cure Autism. If we do, the Imerial bully will triumph, and use the marginaly displesed scientist's interdimensional door to take over our universe as well! THINK OF THE FUTURE!! !

and that is the cause of autism.