Corrupt A Wish

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lol ok ottoborg

the threads of the universe unravel in ways i cannot explain.

i wish i had marmalade on my vindaloos.

Granted, but someone else eats them all before you get a change to taste one.

I wish I had more chocolate in my room right now.

Granted. Your room is filled up with chocolate and now there's no room for you.

I wish there were a point in wishing something.

Granted, but you can only make one wish.

I wish I did better in my cognitive psychology class.

Granted. But then everyone who is doing poorly in your class swarms around you, begging for your help, which causes you to suffer a meltdown.

I wish for a real live pet unicorn.

Granted, but it is extremely noisy during the night and keeps you awake.

I wish Abbey Clancy won Britain's Next Top Model.

Wish granted.

But she is so tired of show biz, she has decided to enter a Benedictine Nunnery.

I wish for a nice 8'-10' Yurt.

granted. it is eight feet long and ten feet wide, but the height is not specified so...it is approximately nine inches tall. not bad for a dormouse?

i wish gravity was inconsequential.

Granted. Since gravity is inconsequential, now any inconsequential matter is a grave one. Thus, for some trifling issue or other, you soon end up in your grave.

I wish this battery weren't draining so damn fast I barely have time to send this post.

Granted, now your battery lasts very long at the cost of your Internet being slow.
I wish I could defeat the dark Jedi Desann.

Granted, but then all the other Jedis throughout time fight against you right afterward.

I wish my wife would love me at least as half as much as she loves My Little Pony.

Now she loves you and she develops morbid jealousy. She won't let you leave the house anymore.
I wish I had an HDTV.

Granted. It is 2mm wide and 1 mm high.

I wish black holes were white.

Granted, but now everything is in reverse color.

I wish I had more wishes.

Granted 50 years from now.

I wish all the starving children in the world would have something to eat, and the little whiny punk-asses in first-world countries writing their little "letters to Santa" would stop bitching and realize they have it good.

Now all the Africans have lots of food, but the rest of the world is starving to death. Well done!
I wish to disguise myself as a stormtrooper and sneak into an Imperial base.