Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, but you get caught very easily

I wish I didn't procrastinate all the time

Granted. Now you get everything done with time to spare. Everyone you know begins to envy and hate you. They murder you, and, when the authorities come, noöne knows anything

I wish I didn’t lose track of time so easily at the place where there’s no darkness.

Granted. Instead, you either get bored that the time is going slowly, or you're constantly worried you won't have enough time to do anything

I wish for my own room

Granted. It has all glass walls and the glass can't be covered up.

I wish ice would not form on the walkways.

Granted. You get your class syllabi, but they're written in a combination of pig latin, simlish, and Egyptian hieroglyphics.

I wish I could fly and have morphing powers like I do in my dreams.

Granted, but you can only fly in your morphed mode which is a bird that is very popular among sport hunters.

I wish had a gold bullion in my hands right now.

Granted, but it's so big and heavy that you can't lift it.

I wish I had no physical flaws.

Granted, but you have to travel overseas to get it. With your own money.

I wish I had a chocolate milkshake. For real, I haven't had one in over a year.

Granted, you have a chocolate milkshake with worms mixed in.

I wish I had no homework.

Granted, instead you have to stay at school for longer

I wish for a clear face with no spots

Granted, but you have very large oozing boils all over your neck.

I wish calculus didn't exist.

Granted. History is altered so Newton and Leibniz are murdered before either has a chance to come up with anything resembling calculus, and anyone toying with the same ideas meets an identical fate.

Since so much of our current science and technology depends on calculus, we stay at an 18th-century level forever. Gotta enjoy the high infant mortality, the short life expectancy and the persistence of ancient social mores only technological progress enabled us to change. Needless to say, there was never a French Revolution, the Ancient Regime never fell, and the US never existed. I guess you can, at least, be glad the metric system was never devised; instead, since the British empire has been so big for such a long time, the whole world eventually adopted its imperial system of measurement units.

I wish I had it easier to replace my ancient computer.

Granted. You replace it with the very newest and best model of computer. It doesn't just anticipate what you're going to type, it actually types what you're thinking. That leads to you making some very embarrassing posts and getting banned from WP.

I wish all people would just accept each other regardless of their race, sexual orientation, disability or gender identification.

Granted. Then they accept each other so much that they want to be with each other at all times so you get no alone time.

I wish i could be invisible, including my clothes.