Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. Now they leave their dog's poop on your doorstep instead.

I wish "Love Marriage Specialist Baba Ji" never existed.

Granted. WP is now flooded with ads for fake passports and counterfeit money instead.

I wish I could take drama class.

You take it and it makes you cry because oh it's so overly dramatic.
I wish I had been the one who killed Vader.

Granted. It breaks down with you in it in 1946. See you here in seventy years!

I wish I were better at finding a nice place to live without inviting anyone to take advantage of me.

Granted, but the "nice" place you find is the horse manure capital of the world.

I wish my slipper didn't have a hole in it.

Granted. Now it has two holes in it.

I wish a certain someone would find something better to do to justify his job than making up new crap to kill my productivity with.

granted. now he keeps bringing back the same old crap, instead of making new crap.

i wish my plasticine figures could come to life.

Granted. When you go near them, they bite you.

I wish my friends had accepted my friend requests on Facebook.

Granted. They accept your request and proceed to bombard you with messages every second until you can't stand it anymore.

I wish I didn't have a test to study for.

Granted. At the time when you’d otherwise have the test, the whole world is threatened by some unspeakable horror only you can neutralize, by applying the knowledge the test was about. However, since you didn’t have to study that subject, you fail to save the world and we’re all screwed.

I wish photos of rooms for rent weren’t so craftily deceptive.

Granted. They show every single cockroach, leaky faucet and piece of bird poop in the room.

I wish all sicknesses were cured.

granted.

..actually, i won't corrupt that because...that doesn't deserve corrupting.

i wish i could have a professional clay armature.

Granted, but it's super-sticky clay and you accidentally get stuck in it.

I wish my brother would want to go outside.

granted.

he is eaten alive by moth larvae.

i wish i was born as someone else.

Granted. You're born as a mouse and are immediately eaten alive by a bloodthirsty cat.

I wish I didn't have an essay to write.