Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, but they come back as zombies and bite you.

I wish I wasn't so sensitive.

Granted, you feel no emotions at all.

I wish I could have a lovely bowl of potato soup right now. The non-poisoned, non-explosive variety.

Granted. Have some of our latest delicacy: Potato Soup with Worms.

I wish I didn't have to keep refilling the water filter.

Granted: it's broken.

I wish it would rain sparkles.

Granted, but the sparkles get in people's eyes and make them sting.

I wish people would stop making fun of my brother.

They stop making fun of your brother, but they start making fun of you.

I wish I could actually grant wishes in real life.

Granted. You can grant wishes, but they all get corrupted and people get mad at you.

I wish I could swim.

You can swim, but because of you being able to swim, the mother of a bratty child gets you to save their annoying child who becomes the next annoying pop singer. Now you are forced to listen to that annoying autotuned voice everywhere.

I wish I had a portal gun.

Granted, but all your possessions disappear through it.

I wish I could break the habit of pulling on my eyelids.

Granted, but it is because your eyeballs fall out.

I wish I was ten feet tall.

Granted, but you smack your head on a door frame, get a concussion, and die.

I wish I had joined Wrong Planet earlier.

Granted, but you join it when you were an embarassing teen, and post pictures of Justin Bieber photoshopped into your arms. Those pictures lie on the internet, there for people to see and judge.

I wish that Marina and the Diamonds would stop singing, shut down her youtube channel, and have all videos with her music removed.

Granted, but another singer, Karina and the Sapphires, becomes popular, and she's even worse.

I wish we had custom member titles on WP.

Granted, but everyone else sees it as something else.

I wish it was 20 degrees cooler out.

Granted, but the temperature steadilly keeps decreasing until the entire world is covered with snow and ice. Cute Giraffes freeze. Mass extinctions occur.

I wish I had superstrength, superspeed, and superdurability.

Granted, but you are only half a millimetre tall.

I wish to get some work done now.