Corrupt A Wish

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Sweet. Now I can walk into everywhere, not fear being squished (because of durability), and go on flights for free! That wish wasn't really corrupted.

You get work done, but your work has the same quality of the work of a sixth grader that hasn't slept in a week.

I wish I had telekinetic powers.

Granted, but your telekinetic powers only work on objects weighing less than a millionth of a gram and cause you severe burns.

I wish I was twenty years old again.

Granted, you are twenty years old, but still look the same.

I wish I could find the nail clippers.

Granted, the dog swallowed them, but don't worry, you'll get them back in a day or two.

I wish for a pet tyrannosaurus rex.

Granted, you have a full-sized T-rex as a pet, and it's hungry.

I wish a forum I used to visit was still around.

It's around, but it's dead. You are the only one going there.

I wish there was no such thing as tooth aches.

Granted, the concept of tooth aches does not exist, but that's because everyone walks around with their teeth hurting all the time.

I wish another forum I'm on wasn't being so slow.

Granted, people post so fast that all of your favorite threads are buried.

I wish people would stop saying "pitcher" instead of picture.

Granted, now they say pic-share.

I wish to have a pet wolf.

Granted, but your pet turns out to be a werewolf and bites you turning you into one too.

I wish my bank wasn't so incompetent.

Granted, they are very competent at stealing your money.

I wish I was more into music.

Granted... but you play it so loud that you start to lose your hearing and now you can barely hear at all.

I wish I could teleport.

Granted, but you can only teleport to the location you are already in and arrive at the same instant that you leave.

I wish for my own Tardis.

Granted, but you accidentally take it to the year 5835439, where the planet is barren and a deadly gas is sweeping across it.

I wish no one ever went hungry.

Granted, everyone turns cannibal and now there is plenty to eat.

I wish for a cream cake.

Granted, you have a lovely chocolate cake with sour cream.

I wish I was better at thinking of things for A-Z threads.