Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, but now they pick on your other brother/sister.

I wanna be a magical girl, just like Precure!

Granted, but the powers of evil sense your power and want to destroy you, and you never relax again.

I wish I was good at video games.

Granted, but the only games you have skill at are tic-tac-toe.

I wish I would never have meltdowns again.

Granted, you just bottle up your feelings and become extremely depressed. (Me too, Lillikoi.)

I wish it was warmer outside.

Granted, it's so warm that you die of heat stroke.

I wish that teleportation was possible.

Granted, but you accidentally teleport to the moon without a spacesuit.

I wish people wouldn't be bigoted.

Granted, nobody has opinions.

I wish I could have some crackers right now.

Granted, you have some firecrackers. Yummy!

I wish another forum I post on wasn't so slow.

Granted, it's not slow, but posts are now turning up and disappearing within a few seconds Snapchat style.

I wish it was July 14th 2016 all over again.

Granted. It is now July 14th 2016 for the rest of your life. It soon gets really boring.

I wish I could go on roller coasters without getting scared.

Granted, all roller coasters are now permanently stationary and no more than five inches above ground. Now they'll never scare anyone again.

I wish for things to go on exactly as they would have if I hadn't made this wish.

Granted. The same car that was going to hit you tomorrow, still hits you.

I wish this thread would never die again.

Granted. Instead of dying, the thread just gets older and older until you're stuck having to feed it and change its diapers and keep it from giving its bank account to Nigerian royalty. Forever.

I wish people would find better things to do at 3:00 in the morning than scream at football matches on the television.

Granted. They scream at each other instead.

I wish my sandals weren't broken.

The Sandal Fairy repairs them with magical fairy glue that gives you magical fairy foot fungus.

I wish my brain and body could function perfectly without needing any sleep.

Granted, but you need extremely high amounts of food, making you very fat.

I wish I could remember what I was going to wish for.