Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. You are now constantly remembering everything that's ever happened to you and everything you've ever thought, all at once forever. The cognitive overload renders you catatonic.

I wish I had sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads. Or at the very least some mutated ill-tempered sea bass.

Granted. They proceed to use their laser beams to destroy the environment and everything and everyone you love.

I wish I didn't have a cold.

Granted. You're now in heat.

I wish my toaster would toast bread rather than just burn it on one side.

Granted. It toasts bread and then flings it into the air, so that it hits the ceiling and breaks into pieces.

I wish I could stay clean without taking showers.

Wish granted:
You shall be turned into a little cat who cleans herself constantly with her tongue .

I wish for a flying dragon for a pet.

Granted, but it's so poor at flying that the first time you go out on it, it ends up dropping you in the middle of the ocean.

I wish I never had any responsibilities again.

Granted, your now and hereby forever an infant unable to care for your self.



I wish that big Pharmacy corporations would stop trying to bilk poor people out of their money and start charging them on a reasonable sliding fee scale.

Granted, the prices have been lowered for the poor, but the quality of the medicine is greatly reduced.

I wish I ruled the world.

Granted, You find your self on a small island that no one ever visits, no boats no cars not a single luxury, not even a radio. to the world their illustrious leader has forever gone missing, you are now king of your own world.


I wish this wish to be granted, I wish I never made this wish, and for it to never be corrupted.

Granted, but the paradox causes the world to explode.

I wish I never had to get up early.

Re:"I wish this wish to be granted, I wish I never made this wish, and for it to never be corrupted."

(I couldnt respond to this one in time :/)

Now this is a hard one...
there are three wishes in this sentence:

1: You want A to be fufilled. (A is an arbitrary wish.)
2: You would like to never have wished A
3: You would like A to never be corrupted.

From 1 and 2, I guess you want A to be granted, but since you didnt want to wish it, I think you want it to be granted to someone or something else. You also would like the wish to be not corrupted for that someone or something.

Thus your wish is reformulated:
I wish someone would be granted something uncorrupted.

Granted: Whoever recieved your wish, recieved nothing.

Granted, you end up with a 24/7 hour job saving the world, and are never allowed any rest.



I wish the poster below me wish is granted without any corruptions.

Granted. I will not make a wish.

I wish to become a mathematician.

Granted. You end up going crazy trying to figure out all the digits of pi.

I wish I could get more reading done.

Granted, but the book you read takes your mind on an never ending story to where you never snap out of it again back into reality.

I wish that the next person who actually makes a wish, that their wish be granted without any corruption by any poster below them.