Corrupt A Wish

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Granted.

I wish that my wish be corrupted.

I wish that the next poster does not die before they can finish their post.

Granted. I cannot grant a wish without corruption if the wisher wishes for their wish to be corrupted, so your wish explodes and causes the apocalypse.

You're welcome.

I wish that peppers did not exist.

Granted, but all other fruits and veggies now taste like spicy peppers.

I wish the next poster not to die before they can finish their post.

Granted, hopefully.

I wish there were a LARP of Fallout 3.

Granted, but whoever participated in the game turned into a super mutant.
(LARP means Live Action Role Playing Game right?)

I wish that my country, Portugal, was more economically developed.

Granted. To achieve that, they decide to kick out half the population, including you, and send you to poorer countries.

I wish my brother would always stay in bed after going to bed.

Granted. He never leaves his bed ever.

I wish bad weather would just end and never come back.

Granted, there's no weather at all. It never rains. People all over the world die of dehydration.

I wish to have a happy, safe, and peaceful life, in which I accomplish many great things.

Granted, but as soon as you die you go to an utterly torturous hell.

I wish I had more friends in real life.

Granted, but they turn out to be horrible, backstabbing folks who make your life miserable.

I wish for a simple, untainted plate of macaroni.

Granted. You have a simple, untainted plate of raw macaroni.

I wish the Internet would never be slow.

Granted. All ISPs are bought out by a new corporation with advanced extra-terrestrial technology that makes all data transfer instantaneous. Unfortunately, their cheapest subscription package costs $172,000 a month, making internet access a privilege reserved for the fabulously wealthy.

I wish I had a plate of the most delicious cookies ever baked in front me, with no toxic ingredients.

Granted, it smells and looks so wonderful you could just die for even a taste of it, but sadly there is a bullet prof casting around it as it sits right before you ever out of reach.

I wish the next poster to see the morning sun.

Thanks, as*hole, I'm a vampire.

I wish all the organized religions would recognize me as God.

Granted, but it is irrelevant because everyone is a atheist now.


I wish I could walk through walls.