The Really Bad Advice Thread

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Rules and laws are generally of a suggestive nature.

Don't listen to the propaganda from the dental industry about getting your teeth cleaned twice a year. You see, removing the plaque buildup on your teeth is actually bad for them, since plaque protects your teeth's enamel.

When you get on a London bus, smile at the driver and ask him (or her) some in-depth questions about the route.

This is especially recommended when there are fifteen more people waiting to get on.

When you're driving and you're about to make a turn, never turn on your blinker. Let the person behind you guess as to which way you're going to go.

Don't bother brushing your teeth. Everyone will adapt to your bad breath.

When shoplifting, just exist the store at a really fast walk. The sensors don't work when you're moving beyond the normal pace of customers.

Drive it like you stole it, even if you own it. And make the friendly people with the fun cars with the blinky lights believe it!

Just follow the Navigation Device.

Juggling bananas is a good way to cheer everyone up at a funeral.

^^ If you think your navigation is misleading you when it says to turn left at the bridge and descend 40 feet to the "cross street" below, you're just dumb for wasting a valuable shortcut.

Better to not complete your work than to do it imperfectly.

When a fat person sits next to you on the train or bus, kindly ask him/her if he/she needs extra space for his/her body.

Never take the seeds out of a jalapeno pepper before biting into it. If it's really hot, the seeds will cool your mouth.

Bengay cures blue balls.

You don't need to have patience with old folks when they have trouble with technology. They must have been using the internet for, like, 50 years already!

If you dislike a book that many others love, it means you haven't read it enough.

Keep rereading the book and eventually you'll love it.