Blame the poster above you

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^ Well it’s your fault I’m too busy thinking about music to bother with trivial side-issues like global plagues.
I’m going to be totally unprepared and not even notice.
I hope your satisfied.

Well I hope you are satisfied that because of you there was heavy rain and I had no electricity last night and couldn't close my electric blind/screen and lay quivering all night for fear of intruders breaking in. So there!

^ That was vengeance for that time earlier this year when you made me leave my printer on all night and then turn it off at the plug next morning:
It took me a day to work out I needed to reconfigure it’s router settings to get it functioning again.

Ha ha well you deserve it for the time you made me climb on my extra springy bouncy bed, and pull down a bag from the storage cupboard above it. The heavy bag landed on the bed, catapulted me in the air like a seesaw, making me land heavily on some toys on the floor, and... . I lived in my tv chair for 2 weeks not able to sit or lie down. ALL YOUR FAULT

And what about the time you made me thrust my tools under a holly hedge I was working on so hard it sprang back and scratched my cornea?
That was excruciating agony, I had to go to A&E and I spent 24hrs soldiering on convinced I had lost half my vision first.
DEFINITELY YOUR FAULT!!

Oy vey

^ it’s all fine now: I saw a very nice West African doctor and he gave me just the right ointments to keep it clean and numb whilst it healed.

How’s your back?
(I assume back injury was what you were referring to)

You are to blame for the Corona Virus.

Because you stopped drinking Dos Equis, and started drinking Coronas!

^That hardly compares with when you engineered a superbug and hopped back to the fourteenth century in your time machine to set off the Black Death.

All good with my back. No thanks to you

^

Good,but I’m sure you don’t deserve it on account of the time you made me think I could pull off knee-high platform boots despite my tendency to walk into my own feet.
That was very naughty of you, and I hope you’re truly sorry.

Oooh knee high platform boots.......... that sounds veeeery sexy, makes me think of Colin Firth, emerging from his pond in Pride and Prejudice, with his wet shirt and knee high boots... .you are forgiven K.... till I get my breath back .......

I think my look was less Colin Firth and more Skinny Goth tbh.

Did have velvet trousers though.
And an opera shirt.
Both black of course.

Back on track......
You are responsible for the red fire ants that invaded my house, my wooden floor and my bed and bit me all over like minature maniacal mosquitoes. You!! !

^Well, you're responsible for the rat that crawled into the kitchen cupboard of the house I lived in in Yorkshire: which proceeded to throttle itself on the Christmas lights (don’t think I don’t see your handiwork in that detail), and breed a vast cloud of flies as it slowly stank worse and worse.

Only you would drive a rat to suicide........
The sewage coming out of my downstairs bathroom due to Ficcus roots blocking the drains is probably your fault, don't know what Ficcus tree is called in English but nevertheless you are the cause.