Take the post above you the wrong way

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This forum is Scottophobic

Are you saying I don't know how to use Scotch tape?

Didn't your recording of Billy Connoly work then?

How could a recording ever work? No one would want to offer it employment. It's not a person.

So you have a record of unemployment?

Of course I don't. No one uses records any more. They went out years ago, along with cassettes and even CDs. These days, it's MP3s all the way. Get with the times.

I didn't realise The Times were giving away MPs.

I didn't either. Has the one from my constituency already been taken?

I'm not sure I'd really like an MP, to be honest. He might come in useful to lobby parliament for me about my pet hates from time to time, but other than that, he would be no use, and would be ordered to sit quietly in his cage all day.

I didn't realise you were a prison warder looking after all those MPs who fiddled their expense accounts.

Now you're implying I was at the root of all the scandal?

That's right, Go ahead. Accuse me. It's always my fault, right?

Oh, I see, you are actually an MP. Hmmmm must be the Scottish parliament though?

I get it. You're a detective. You've come sniffing round here because you think I had some part in it. Well, you're wrong. Just go back to wherever you came from.

So you admit you "got it". And what did you do with all those backhanders?

Now you're starting a conversation with all-white and leaving me out!! ! You're rubbing your social skills in my face! This site is so cliquey I'm leaving!! !! !! !! !! !

(kidding... it's fun reading)

Did you just say "clique" and "all_white" in the same sentence?

I can't believe I'm reading this.

Your English must be improving then. ( )