Write the worst short story you possibly can

Post Reply New Topic

A ghost appeared and then disappeared-

There was rustling in the dark room.

A voice quavered 'Who's there?'.

Another voice answered 'No one'.

But there was.

Jamie was a superstitious synesthetic.
He could only eat food that was colored like the letter 4.

One day, Jamie got shipwrecked on a remote island.
The island only had food that was colored like the letter 3.

Jamie died

... eight years later in an unrelated traffic accident.

THE END

It was a dark and stormy night.

Bronson "Big Mac Daddy" Sassypants was just leaving the set of the Jerry Springer show by the back door, disappointed that his feather boa was getting all wet and would be all stanky in the morning.

Suddenly, a shot rang out.

Blood oozed from beneath Bronson's Army Surplus camo jacket. He fell face down in the mud.

"Keep the change, ya filthy animal," said Vinny "Eleven Fingers" MacCreedy, Bronson's coke dealer.

"Hey sugar, do you wanna have some fun?" said a voice?

Vinny Turned Around. It WAs Lucretia Simmons.

"No." he said. And went back to picking his nose.

"Well dang," said Lucretia. "What am I gonna do with all these Chuck E. Cheeze tickets?"

Just then they heard sirens. A patrol car hopped the curb and hit Vinny, knocking him into the brick wall like a billiard ball.

The passenger door was flung open. "Gimme," said officer Mike, snatching the tickets from Lucretia's hand. The cop car sped away.

"Help me." moaned Vinny, his foot twitching.

"Bet you wish you was at Chucky's now, sucka." said Lucretia. "Oh shoot, it's almost time for Justin Beiber!" She sauntered off, her leopard-print stilettos making a popping sound in the mud.

Detective Trick Darcy was driving by in the 1960's era Bat Mobile, and slowed down as he noticed the crime scene, but then thought nah, I wanna get home.

It was another tacky night, in the stupid city that never sleeps.

They were over there, in the shadows.

Then they came closer.

And closer.

And closer.

And closer.

Then they changed their minds and left.

Once upon a time, there was once an exceedingly cute little dormouse whose ambition was to climb high at the very top of the carrot flowers. And she looked into the sky, and prayed to the Dormouse God to send help. She raised those cute little paws and was waiting for a miracle. And it came, in the form of the crab super hero from Finland. He gently lifted her with his claws, to the very top of the carrot flowers, where she had always wanted to be. She squeaked out of delight and thanked the Dormouse God for sending a super-crab to the rescue!

The end

it was just another day in the night
they didn't listen to a thing I said
they leapt off the cliff like lemmings with batteries in them

There once was a marmalade-dipped Squirrox.

It looked fluffy and cuddly.

It wasn't.

The local Emergency Rooms noticed an influx of panicky individuals with bitten-off fingers who demanded rabies shots.


The Squirrox lurked under the bed, smirking.

The digit-devouring Squirrox, thinking herself camouflaged by the marmalade she had rolled in, ventured forth from her lair, intent upon biting someone's toes off.....

She saw feet....

She pounced....

She bit....

She shrieked in shock and pain and anger, raging over her broken fang....

No one had told her that Iron Man was a houseguest this weekend.

I'll get my revenge, Missy!

Foddah, a kind-hearted woman who made a living by using her psychic/witchery ability to help unfortunate people for a very low price of $99.95 each, one day had a customer called Hanan who was distressed by multiple problems in her life.

Hanan: Oh, please help me, Foddah! My husband, Nader, is cheating on me and my daughter, Khadija, cannot find a husband because she is very ugly. What can I do? My life is such a mess.
Foddah: Don?t worry, Mrs Hanan. I can write a charm that will make your husband hate his lover and love you again, and one that will make your ugly daughter beautiful.
Hanan: Oh, thank you, Foddah! Here is $199.90. Have a good afternoon!

Hanan: I?m home!
Khadija: Welcome home, mum!
Hanan: Who are you?
Khadija: Have you forgotten your daughter!? I?m Khadija!
Hanan: But your face? is not ugly?
Khadija: Oh, I don?t know. My face seems to have changed while napping! I?ve already made dinner for us. It?s qibbi tonight!
Nader: Oh, you are home, darling! I was waiting for you!
Hanan: Oh, you are home early, Nader. What happened?
Nader: I just realized how much I love you and couldn?t wait to see you! So I just came home early today. I?m a lucky man to have a wife like you.
Hanan: Oh, Nader, I love you, too. I?m so lucky to have a husband like you. [Oh, thank you, Foddah! God bless you!]

Foddah: (answering the phone) Hello? Foddah speaking.
Nader: This is Sam (Nader?s fake name). I want to break up with you. I just realized I hate you, you scammer!
Foddah: But why suddenly?
Nader: Oh, I don?t know. I just hate you. You don?t need a reason. I just don?t want to see you again! Bye!
Foddah: Oh, Sam, wait! What happened!? (the line gone dead)

A few weeks later Khadija got engaged to the most handsome man and then they had the most expensive and gorgeous wedding party.

One day, my master was very happy with me,

He gave me a treat and a pat on the head.

I wagged my tail and barked.

Woof Woof!

Yay!

Babybird's dog just ate my story.

Bad dog!