Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, but you spend the rest of it in prison after randomly attacking someone for no reason whatsoever.

I wish all street gangs would just break up and never form ever again.

granted, but then all the gang members flood the job market and take your job...

I wish I had a 12 inch penis

Granted, but you are impotent and uninterested in women.

I wish that I was a vampire.

You are now weak to sunlight and garlic.

I wish I had the new Chiodos album already.

Granted, but all the songs were written a drugged-up monkey.

I wish that the Portland Trail Blazers had another title already.

Granted, but since the person granting the wish doesn't know what the Blazers are, you die of spontaneous human combustion.

I wish that I had flippen awesome ninja skillz...also, ninja moves would be great too.

Granted, but you are constantly attacked by fiends.

I wish that I could live forever without ANY ill side effects.

Granted, but you receive side effects anyway.

I wish I could dye my hair red.

Granted, but you have to drink blood every day to keep your hair red.

I wish everything on the internet was free.

Granted, you can dye your hair red. The downside is you don't feel like dying your hair.

I wish for this thread to be killed.

Granted. However, it takes you down with it.

I wish for the ability to scry.

Granted, although you have to jog 5 miles daily just to abide by this wish.

I wish for a universal pill that can cure my epilepsy{seizure disorder} & other epileptics.

Granted, but it makes you hallucinate and freak out.

I wish that all worthless criminals would die.

Granted.
But the granter of this wish sends this minds of the executed criminals after you
You freak out later.

I wish someone gave Bush a memory wipe that makes him not remember his presidency.

Granted, but he becomes the leader of Israel instead, and nukes the USA.

I wish that everyone used perfect grammar and spellng.

granted, but nobody else remembers it either, and he runs again and wins... and we have to do it all over again...

i wish i could s**t gold