I (blank) the next person

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Kick ass!

I scare the next person out of their skin.

You already scared me!

I give the next person a leftover Easter egg, 85% cacao.

Thankee Sai.

I give the next person a cat.

I want the cat!! !

I give the next person a talking pineapple

A talking Pineapple! Now thats the stuff. I think I'll name it Wilson.

Hands the next person his old volleyball.

...how I never owned a vollyball.

I challenge the next person to a dual.

I decline

I give someone a get out of jail free card that actually works in RL.

hmmm i guess i should steal money form Microsoft now

i will put a funnel in the next person's moth and pour rum in.

Splice the mainbrace!

I buy the next person a shotgun.

I exchange the gun for a sushi joint.

I kick the next person.

I throw a coconut at the next person

I catch it and make some Piña Coladas

I give the next person a Piña Colada

Woot! *puts on his music and drinks his Piña Colada*

*hands the next person a large palm leaf to fan me with*

I dry said palm leaf and burn it.

If the next person is bad I bash said person with a meat tenderizer, if I like the next person I give said person their own popcorn machine.

I'm waiting...

I give the next person a copy of Bush's not-yet-published memoirs, all 5 illustrated pages of them.

Bush's memoir?! *pours gasoline on it lights a match and drops match on book*

That's much better...

I give the next person a book with all of H.P. Lovecraft's stories in it.