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The Really Bad Advice Thread

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LupineSnowstorm
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30 Dec 2014, 10:28 am

Cactuses often get lonely out in the desert. Try giving one a hug for moral support.


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Sokoro
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30 Dec 2014, 11:15 am

Do not do anything unless it is really necessary, and try to stay safe at home.

If you want to increase digital space on your HDD, then loosen the screws on the top side of the disk.

The best way how to fix any problem of your computer is to reinstall its OS, it also helps you to learn a lot about computers.



Spiderpig
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30 Dec 2014, 12:01 pm

Nah, computer problems are best solved with a hammer.


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Jules_Bonnot_1912
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30 Dec 2014, 12:48 pm

Spiderpig wrote:
Nah, computer problems are best solved with a hammer.

And don't let them accuse you of destruction ... the correct term is 'percussive maintenance' ...


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Syd
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30 Dec 2014, 4:18 pm

Inserting youtube clips of popular sci-fi and fantasy movie quotes into your posts is a great way to strengthen your arguments in forum debates.



Jules_Bonnot_1912
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31 Dec 2014, 6:18 am

If you're a window washer on the 44th floor, step back to admire your work.


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ajpd1989
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01 Jan 2015, 3:30 am

I someone says "have a nice day" to you, say "don't tell me what to do"



CosmicRuss
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11 Jan 2015, 5:59 pm

Don't waste money buying dental floss. Just collect all your cat's dropped whiskers and carefully handwash them first at 60°C to sterilize them.


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Nambo
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11 Jan 2015, 7:32 pm

If you meet a nice girl at the disco and you want to "play safe" when she invites you around the alley out back, by the dustbins, well, if the chemists are closed, an empty crisp packet makes a good substitute.




(Our American friends possibly call them Chip packets).



seeslivepeople
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13 Jan 2015, 4:49 am

When competing over volumes of alcohol consumption, it is always a good idea to drink the entire fifth in the first attempt, alleviating concerns over the other persons possible consumption.



jrjones9933
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24 Mar 2015, 7:14 am

Push straight to the front of any line. People will recognize your innate superiority.


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dossa
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24 Mar 2015, 3:36 pm

If you should somehow lose the cap on an aerosol can, do not fret. All you need to do is get a hammer and nail and create a new hole in the side of the can.


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naturalplastic
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25 Mar 2015, 4:49 pm

When in doubt while driving ALWAYS make the middle finger salute to other motorists. It will always improve the situation.



ThetaIn3D
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25 Mar 2015, 5:57 pm

Never use words when armpit farts will do.



SKSFox1999
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25 Mar 2015, 6:09 pm

When you have a bent fork, douse it in water and stick it in outlet

When you are loading an M1 Garand, push down on the clip with just your thumb and don't hold the bolt back



mr_bigmouth_502
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25 Mar 2015, 8:55 pm

If you have spots on your TV or computer monitor, Windex will help give it a nice clean shine! Also, if your computer is making a lot of noise, try disconnecting all the fans, then, you'll hear nothing but the sweet sound of silence! :P