Blame the poster above you

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It's your fault I need them more than you. How else am I going to maintain those hairy Hobbit feet of mine?

Is currently knitting a jumper from the hair shaved from her feet.

Is so excited about his handmade Christmas gift from me this year.

Hmmm, I've still got your gift from last year, it was unique I'll give you that; a necklace of your toenail clippings. Your fault people laugh at me in public.

It's your fault for wearing such a necklace in public.

It's actually your fault for mentioning it in public

It's your fault for going out in public full stop.

It's your fault you kidnapped the public for more toe nail clippings. How many necklaces do you need?!

Yes, but it was you who cut all their ears off to make more elaborate and grotesque necklaces!

Fair enough! But why did you need their fingers to make a bracelet when I made you a masterpiece out of your toes? It's your fault your toes have gone to waste!

It's your fault I keep falling over, I would rather have had my toes on my feet where they were notionally useful in keeping me upright.

It's your fault you still haven't learnt how to walk without toes. It's not rocket science, you know!

It's easy for you, you've got massive hairy feet. It's impossible for you to fall over. Your fault for not appreciating what it's like to be a disabled radish without any toes.

*Slices his legs off so he stops complaining about his toeless feet*

Your fault.

Ok, you've got me stumped now. For which I blame you.

I blame you for being footloose and toes-free.