Write the worst short story you possibly can

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To cook : pork chops, freshly cut
Inspired by Ernest Hemingway's 6 word story

Hemingway; a sure cure for insomnia.

jk1, your fairy tale dialogue story was actually rather on par with real fairy-tales IMO. I actually kinda liked the part about Nader breaking up with the psychic.
Sorry for ruining the thread!

Knut Hamsun and John Steinbeck too!


Here's an anti-cannabis story: Once upon a time there was a stone that was stoned to death by stoned stones.



Once there was this mushroom who didn't like being mushy. He had an identity problem.



I love you, she said.
I'll never leave you, she said.
But then she died. And he had to single-handedly dig her out of her grave for her to keep her promise to him.

Dear Skilpadde,

Google Tony Alamo....

He was an American preacher in the 1970's who had a well-known ministry with his wife, Susan.

Long story short, she died, he eventually had his followers dig her up and he kept her on display in his house for six months.

He refused to relinquish her body for sixteen years, until her daughter took him to court.



Only in America, I guess.

Oh, yes, the story....

The White House needed re-painting, but the government did not want to spend the money, so the Head Housekeeper paid her stoner nephew to do the job.

She neglected to impress upon him that the new paint must be the same color as the original.

He bought the cheapest paint on sale.

Which is why we now have a Tangerine House with Goldenrod trim.

I just did. OMG that's creepy! And I thought my story was so far-fetched! That's like something right out of Tales From The Crypt...
Thanks for posting that! I would never learned of that otherwise.





A boy and his dog

Timmy was given a beautiful collie. He named it Lassie.
"Hey, I'm a dude," protested the collie.
But Timmy didn't understand. Or maybe he didn't care.



Lassie's revenge

Timmy and Lassie were out playing when Timmy fell down a well.
"Goodbye, Timmy," said Lassie.



Lassie regrets

The next day Lassie felt bad and barked at Timmy's mother until she followed him to the well. Everyone thought Lassie was a hero. "Good dog!" Lassie didn't tell them otherwise.



Lassie gets a job

Lassie and her human family moved to a farm. Now she was expected to herd the sheep. "Do I look like a border collie?" she asked, offended.

So this near-sighted family wanted a collie but did net want to pay a lot of $, so they got one cheap off of Craigslist, but it was not a Collie.

It was a big,big coyote/wolf puppy with dyed fur.

The family found this out when they ran out of dog food.

The neighbors were NOT happy about all of their pets.

Even the goldfish.

The goldfish was swimming around, then it bumped it nose into something
'ouch' it said
'I won't do that again' it thought to itself...

Then the coyote chewed and the goldfish was no more
At least it didn't hurt its snout again.

the flower was the wrong colour, unscented and fell to the ground
not even ants or worms favoured it
not even bacteria were interested
it lay on the ground
withered
desicated

finally
it evaporated

In the year 2050 a privately-funded Moon Tour landed, with its first ship full of tourists...

They found signs of life, and were so excited!

Turned out to be footprints of America's first moon walk.

One day, I was barking up the wrong tree.

Woof Woof!

Once a Golden Retriever buried a bone.

And forgot where it was buried.

And was sad.

A clutch of turtle eggs hatched.

Out came baby turtles.

The baby turtles who made it to adulthood became adult turtles.

The female adult turtles laid eggs.

The males did not.








The tortoise saw some lettuce.

It took a bite.

Tasty!

The tortoise continued to eat the lettuce.

Now the tortoise is full.

But it will become hungry again.

There's no beginning, middle, or end. There's no crescendo to anything, it doesn't go anywhere. . . In other words, there is nothing but gibberish.

One day my master got me a squeaky toy out of the bargain basket in Pets4U.

It made me very happy.

Squeak Squeak!

Babybird's squeaky toys are not nearly so tasty as her master's slippers.

So she stole them.

And chewed them.

And then she buried them.