Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. But you will have to figure out elven to whatever unit you are using.

I wish that my toaster could synthesize food.

Granted, your toaster converts little bits of bread crumbs left inside it into penicillin

I wish it would stop raining.

Granted. But it never rains again. Ever.



I wish for this wish to be corrupted.

The wish is innately corrupt, and corrupts everything it touches. So, by corrupting the wish, it corrupts me back. Now look what you did.

I wish America had a well-run universal healthcare system.

Haha, clever. 5 gold stars for you, plus a cookie of your choosing (though no perverted cookies).


Your wish is granted, but the new health care system is developed after most of the population dies from a preventable disease.


I wish my wishes never come true.

Granted.

I wish I had an eight-story house with four floors above ground and four underground. I wish it had its own discotheque with a spinning floor and a creepy wax museum. And I wish for a friend to have a nearly identical house about a half mile away, connected by tunnels.

Grunted. The spinning floor never stops spinning, and it either goes too fast or too slow, and the creepy wax museum has a tendency to catch on fire and melt. What makes it creepy is that the figures are insurance sales personnel. The other house is always 17 degrees too cold, and inhabited by a large family of ferrets. Your friend should be found somewhere among the ferrets.

I wish that sporks could be classified in a detailed and intricate matter.

Granted, you are given the job of classifying every spork in existence on the planet. You are not allowed to eat until the job is finished.

I wish last nights dream was real - except for the bit about the bone crushing vampire killing everyone.

Granted,the bone crushing vampires don't kill everyone...just everyone except you and rip taylor,who upon learning what happened kills you then himself with his confetti guns.


I wish I wish I had a fish

Granted, enjoy your new pet barracuda. He's named "Bob"

I wish my home would clean itself, like a cat.

Granted,your house licks itself daily with no apparent downside,then one daily it coughs up a hairball the size of a buick which rolls down the street,inflicting millions of dollars in property damage which you are responsible for.


I wish I was stronger.

Granted, Bam-Bam. Good luck trying to lift something gently. Enjoy the broken objects scattered about your home.

I wish I could fly.

Granted, a parcel arrives with your name on it. When you open it BOOM! You are now flying through the air.

I wish I had a fast internet connection

Granted, the inner netting of your swimsuit connects fast to your leg, after you accidentally apply superglue thinking it's suncreen. (I know I stole the "internet" pun from the Simpsons, but, hey)

I wish I could slip back into time and observe people in the 1600s (and come back safely, of course)

Granted. However your method of time travel is impractical and annoying as it requires you to literally slip and fall backwards rather hard without hurting yourself. You return to the future against your will, at almost any random interval, in order to avoid the most minor injury, like stubbing your toe or sneezing due to dusty air.



I wish I could think up a wish that could not be corrupted.

Granted, except it isn't this one!

I wish the Sharks would win the Stanley Cup.