Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, the parts are all labelled in Martian and the part numbers refer to parts that won't exist for three thousand years.

I wish my latest software project was finished.

Granted, but the UI is a throwback to the styles of Windows 3.11.

I wish I had a working computer running Windows 3.11.

Granted, the computer works, but power is cut to your whole region for a year.

I wish for longer eyelashes.

Granted, they're the perfect length. But they are each a different hue. Each. Single. Eyelash.

I wish I had an automatic detector for finding Ms. Right.

Granted.

The detector points you to Ms.Right. You find her stunning and perfect. Next to her is her husband.


I wish it would snow in florida.

Granted. It snows so bad you cant go anywhere or even enjoy it.
I wish my ear would stop hurting.

Granted your ear has been replaced with a potato

I wish I had my own restored Mini

Granted, but good luck trying to get it to work.

I wish there was a McDonald's nextdoor to my house.

Granted! No additional corruption needed. Expect to be kept awake at night with cars and shouting youths and for discarded polystyrene cartons to litter your neighbourhood and for your house to plummet in value.

I wish people did not do stupid things with their computer then expect me to fix their mess.

Granted, they're not doing stupid things to their computers, now they are doing it to yours.

I wishI was more obsesed with SpongeBob than I am now.

Granted. You no longer have a life.
I wish my ear ache was cured.

Granted, but the cure has side effects, including headaches, eyeaches, and it tastes very unpleasant too.

I wish I was able to transmute things. (Transmute= turn something into something else like lead into gold, or maybe cabbage into chocolate .)

Granted, but everything you touch turns into cabbages. At least you've got something to eat, which is more than Midas did.

I wish people would read simple instructions instead of wrecking things then asking me to sort out the mess.

Granted, they are now reading instructions on how to wreck things.

I wish for my own Laptop.

Granted, you have the best laptop out there. You can't install the operating system though.

I wish I could lynch somebody.

Granted. You are required to wear a neck tie to go somewhere, but you trip and accidentally get the tie caught on something and lynch yourself.

I wish people didn't go around persecuting or killing each other in the name of religion.