Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, you fall into a coma and wake up in the Summer of 2049

I wish spectacles never needed cleaning.

Granted. But now they don't fit in your Xbox.

I wish I wasn't so tired.

Granted, ur dead.

I wish it was Wednesday.

Granted, it's however a Wednesday in a generic winter month in 2257. A few days after a generic disaster happened which rendered the area you live in uninhabitable.

I wish I would be and remain in perfect health .

Granted. You're supernaturally transformed into a character from a vitamin ad. Now your life goes incessantly between the kitchen and the dining room, smiling to your fake family and reading your lines to the camera, day after day after day after day after day...

I wish procrastination were physically impossible.

Granted! Still, mental procrastinating remains.

I wish the Wii browser was Firefox.

Fine, it s "firefox" but not the one you expect. It is the firefox plane out of the 1980s film. It will be too large for your shed to store, cost an arm and a leg in fuel to operate and best of all you will have an angry group of people from the film chasing after you trying to get their plane back.

I wish my shoes should polish themselves.

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Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.

Granted, they are designed to have little battery powered brushes on the outside. They automatically clean the shoes every 30 minutes. However, sometimes they get carried away and try to polish the inside of the shoes while you are still wearing them and tickle your feet.

I wish my chainsaw wasn't broken.

Granted, it starts working, but you are NOT in the best position at the time...have a nice funeral.

I wish I could afford some new shoes.

Granted, China starts flooding the world with paper shoes than only cost 10 cents a pair.

I wish my carnivorous plant grows now I've put it in a bigger pot.

Granted! It mutates into a very dangerous, and very intelligent...Piranha Plant!

I wish that I had a talking parrot that was MENSA certified.

Granted. This parrot makes himself the benficiary of your will. Then arranges to hire a mafia hit man to off you.

I wish I could afford to buy P90X.

wish granted, you have the money needed but now they've all sold out.

i wish my appointment were made for days when i could get into town.

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most people think i'm a bit strange, even abnormal. normal is the majority, the average, what is most frequent. if you lived around here, you'll see the positive of not being normal

Granted, you become homeless and live in town all the time, sleeping in shop doorways.

I wish it wasn't so cold.

granted, you're now on fire.

i wish i knew what was wrong with my physical health already.

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most people think i'm a bit strange, even abnormal. normal is the majority, the average, what is most frequent. if you lived around here, you'll see the positive of not being normal

Granted, the doctor tells you that you have only 3 years left to live and he apologises for not telling you three years ago.

I wish the dog would shut the door after him. (He opens it without problem).