Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, Strapples, your über-specific wish did not get corrupted. But God killed a kitten.

I wish I could be more creative as a writer.

Granted, everyone accuses you of the abuse of drugs, how else would you write such strange stories.


I wish I could install Linux on computers by saying a magic word to them.

Granted! But you crash the stock exchange as the software for them runs on Darwin kernel.

I wish Microsoft went out of business.

Granted, but due to the lack of competition, Apple put up their prices and lower their quality and become the new Microsoft.

I wish Microsoft software was always compatible with... Microsoft software

Granted! your pointless wish changes nothing... and is a waste.

I wish there were more fat snuggly girls around

Granted, you contract a strange genetically modified virus which turns you into a fat snuggly girl.

I wish for the economic recession to end and for there to be full employment for everyone.

Granted thanks to the opening of 50,000 mcdonalds restaurants and the closing of EVERY OTHER RESTAURANT IN EXISTENCE> and it is law that everyone eat mcdonalds... life expectancies drop dramatically, heart attack rates increase.

I wish WP servers were faster and more stable

Granted, WP servers are much faster and more stable now, the subscription fee to WP is $1000 per year.

I wish for a good soothing nights sleep and to wake tomorrow refreshed.

for 24,000 members 5 dollars per year per member excluding approximately lets say 5000 who are in financial hardship or otherwise qualify for special exemption would be easily enough to power some reasonably priced dedicated servers.

Granted! But the next day you get ZERO sleep

I wish airlines would allow wheelchair users in powerchairs to fly right in their chair, it is hindering the progress of my trip to england with make a wish dammit.

Granted, the airline uses an alternative method. They attach a rocket to your power chair with enough fuel to land you safely somewhere in England. Where, is the major question.

I wish for the ability to climb walls and ceilings.

Granted! you buy a specialized suit but its very hot and sticky and cost you 50,000 dollars and you cant wear it cause you cant tolerate heat and stickyness

I wish the internet were faster

Granted, the internet works at ten times the speed... but your PC turned into a snail. It did not become slow, it turned into a real snail.

I wish that I could write bugfree code

Granted but now your all your coding ideas are flawed and it shows clearly.

I wish it didn't take so long to get home from college, after spending an hour for the bus and then an hour ride home.. only to do it the next day.

Granted. Cheers, to enjoying your catapult flight home.

I wish I had a hover pod.

Granted! It takes you that long to get to college but not from

I wish teleporters existed

Granted, but when you go very far, due to realitvity, you go back in time.

I wish I had an aircraft carrier.