Corrupt A Wish

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Granted but its all rusty and will sink due to breakdown in 10 days... glub glub glub

I wish time machines actually worked.

Granted, but it changes the entire time line which leads you to not exist anymore.

I wish that these time machines could be safe to use without changing the time line.

Granted! But sponges cannot use them

I wish i could actually travel into the world that spongebob exists in whenever i want.

Granted, your medication now includes LSD.

I wish I understood everything.

Granted! you start taking my LSD (lmao so glad to be rid of it)

I wish to have a lead harness on my wheelchair

see current harness

Granted, but it is so heavy the wheels on your chair buckle and fall off.

I wish I could eat whatever I wanted without putting on extra weight.

Granted... but you never said anything about not adding Mass... so you have to live in Zero G... Tubby.

(your avatar made me do it...)

I wish to always have accessible in my pocket or otherwise appropriately on my person exactly the correct valuation of money to purchase whatever it is that I wish to purchase at the place and time I wish to purchase it.

Granted, the appropriate money is always in your pocket or about your person, but without arms it will be difficult to get it.

I wish for a good day tomorrow and no snow.

Granted it rains!

I wish the harness was not so heavy my wheels break off... i wish for it to be a good 30 pounds

Granted. They don't break off, they only get flat on one side... and UK Money won't work in the US.

I wish for the immediate ability to directly and reciprocally be able to communicate intelligiby, at the lowest level of objective, semantic and logical abstraction (this means no lying), the method, mode and practice of communication by any form of life, known or unknown in this or any other universe while here or at any other point in this or other universes at my choosing.

(FWIW, this describes in specific terms the concept of "Perfect real-time Objective Xenolinguistic Translation"...)

Unlimited wealth (with which I could buy the world's best prosthetics) at "just" the cost of my arms? Well, I can already write with my feet, so...

I'll take that deal.

Granted. You are now the only thing in existence that is capable of any form of communication because everything else has turned to mute lead.

I wish the Tesco near where I live held Fiery Jamaican Ginger Beer in stock, so I didn't have to drink pink lemonade.

Cool. I like lead. I like melting it and casting it into things useful to me.

Wish Granted. You get a fresh stock of Fiery Jamacan Ginger Beer delivered to the Tesco near you, but it both causes Zombieisim ad costs 245 Pounds six pence a bottle.

I wish that all fundamentally or theoretically negative aspects or unintended consequences of any wish I may wis be applied to the next person to make a wish...

....granted. A book of anti-fundamentalism and anti-theory falls on your head.

I wish memes did not exist.

Que?



Granted. Humanity is reduced to a neolithic, prelinguistic, pre-tribal, pre-agricultural non-society with short lifespans and less intellectual capacity than a lesser monkey.

I wish that all hiring decisions were based solely upon matching the relevant Knowledge, Skills and Abilities of the applicant with the actual performance requirements of the job, not the social requirements of the rest of the staff.

Granted! but that hiring system only exists at one business in the world. and they are located in nigeria, they are a notorious spam sending company known as SpamCo

I wish nigerian bank scam emails would vanish

Granted, they vanish and so does your bank account.

I wish there were no spam.