Corrupt A Wish

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Granted! But not thick enough to hide the obnoxious racket of that guitar player who lives next door and does not know a damn thing on how to turn down an amplifier

I wish electric guitar amps were limited to 80 dB (reasonably loud but not loud enough to be heard across the damn street!)

Actually, I did make my wish because of a guitar player. The only difference is he lives directly above me, which is even worse than next door.



Granted. Because of the sanctions on guitar-amp noise, the guitarists take up electric violin instead, which has no such limits upon noise level.

I wish my dirty dishes became clean again.

Granted, your dishes are clean, but they rebel and move to a different country. And on the evening news, turns out your main plate is now dictator.

I wish I had a hologram, so I could stay put, yet communicate.

Granted, you put them in the (clothes) washing machine. Lovely and clean. Smashed to bits, but lovely and clean.

I wish I didn't need to sleep.

(Oops. Crossed posts. I even hit preview.)
Granted, you are now also a hermit crab. For some reason, the need to sleep is a much smaller problem.

I wish my last wish was granted, yet twisted.

Granted, you are converted to a hologram and kept on a CD in the bottom of someone's desk draw for 50 years then thrown out with the rubbish.

I wish my computer never crashed.

Granted. Your electricity supply is cut off so you can't turn it on and give it a chance to crash.

I wish the zip on my laundry bag wasn't broken.

Granted... since more complicated software makes crashes more likely, it now runs DOS 3.0. Have fun surfing with bobcat!


I wish that my computer never deprecates.

OK a double here:

McTell: the zip on your laundry bag is now welded fast so it can't come apart again.

LostInEmulation: Your computer never deprecates but it starts defecating. Bits of wire and solder everywhere!

I wish for a good nights sleep tonight.

Granted, but you will dream of defecating computers im grinning as i am writing this, that was f*cking awesome. level up +1 internet

I wish that WoW was not such a f*****g huge program

Granted. It shall be a 2D side-scrolling mmo-beat 'em up, which should cut down on memory requirements.

I wish there wasn't a party going on in the kitchen, because I'm hungry.

Granted, now there is just 500 toy poodles.

I wish for a statue in my honor.

Granted. However it has a mechanism installed in the plinth which causes havoc with technology all over the world, and this is eventually blamed on you.

I wish I could give out magical powers and other abilities to whomever I wished.

Granted, but the next month the Q continuum takes away your powers.


I wish I had a working phaser.

Granted, but the NSA takes a great interest in your weapon - and you! They take your weapon and put you in a cell and interrogate you for the next twenty years. Have fun waterboarding and having your toe nails pulled out and various other forms of torture.

I wish the world was a torture free place.

Granted, suspects are instead killed (as humanely as possible though).


I wish for a working Subversion