Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, but each dog is mutated. It never looks like the original.

I wish everything was 50% cheaper.

Granted but everything you bought was so cheap that it feel apart when you tried to use it.

I wish i had a slice of Pepperoni Pizza with Chocolate sauce on top.

Granted, but you must first eat Thai peanut sauce chicken wings with ranch dressing before you get your meal.

I wish there were a way to sleep through the summer.


M.

Granted but it goes wrong and you turn into a bear that hibernates for the winter.

I wish I could get my newborn daughter to sleep all night.

Granted but in order to get the ingredients for the potion you have to spend the entire winter outside in northern Minnesota collecting a rare fungus off of trees.

I wish I could get a job.

edit: this was supposed to be in response to the person who wanted to sleep through Summer. But my response also works for the mom who wants her baby to sleep

Granted, your job is cleaning the sewers.

I wish I was the smartest person in the world.

Granted, you are now the smartest person in the world. By 'in' you are buried twenty miles below the surface in a small room with no apparent way to escape... time to show how smart you really are... can you escape?

I wish I had a chocolate éclair.

Ok you have your chocolate éclair. But there is a catch, the scientists on WP have all got into nanoscience recently. Even the biologists and biochemists have choosen to get into nano, working in our autie & aspie friendly lab we have created a nano chocolate éclair. This one is only 100 Å long and 20 Å wide.

Enjoy it ! Opps I was moving it from the STM to the TEM when I sneezed, sorry it is lost somewhere on the floor. We can not find it and it will take us weeks to make the next one using a modified AFM.

I wish that had a mermaid living in my bath. She would have to be good looking and agreeable with a nice personaility, she also needs to be able to speak english and what ever the fish in my fish tank speak.

_________________
Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.

granted but as soon as she realizes where she is she filps out of the tub and grows leggs. She tells you that your not who she wants to spend her time with and then walks out the door with your better looking neighbor.

I wish I had something to eat right now.

One and a two and a three! Granted! Enjoy the bottom of the back of the fridge soup, with a side of stale whatever is in the cabinet, and for dessert, unidentifiable gelatin dessert related substance.

I wish I had a single share of stock.

Granted! Its in a bank thats going to go belly up riiiight about..............................................

wait for it......................

wait for it......................

NOW!

I wish i could have 100 strapples on my wheelchair

_________________
check out my website at {redacted by admin - domain taken over and points to a porn site}

When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know.

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

Fine, you get to have 100 Strapples, the problem is that you can never agree as to which one gets to wear you lead apron, you now have to share it with 99 other clones of you.

I wish that the mermaid was back in my bath, and that she was unable to grow legs and that she wants to stay in my house.

_________________
Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.

Granted! But she is evil

I wish I did not have 100 clones of me but 100 STRAPS

_________________
check out my website at {redacted by admin - domain taken over and points to a porn site}

When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know.

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

Granted but the straps are to short to do anything.

I wish I had a car

Granted, it is an East German Trabant.


I wish that my desktop computer worked again.

OK the desk top PC works again, but when you look at the screen Timothy Leary appears and pulls you into the screen saver.

I wish that the mermaid was a nice young lady who loves cats and dogs, and wants to live in my bath. She must be able to talk to the fish in my fish tank and make them happy. She must also be able to speak perfect english, and she must be immune to the effects of soap and detergents so she can safely live in my bath.

_________________
Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.