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The Really Bad Advice Thread

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Justeve
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01 Nov 2015, 6:34 am

If someone asks 'foes my bum look big in this' answer yes....its best to keep things positive.


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If you asked someone where self help books were, would they tell you, or would that defeat the purpose?


KyleTheGhost
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05 Jan 2016, 9:03 am

If you run out of water, drink mud.


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Spiderpig
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06 Jan 2016, 12:01 pm

If you ever meet Hitler or Stalin, greet them in Esperanto.


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The red lake has been forgotten. A dust devil stuns you long enough to shroud forever those last shards of wisdom. The breeze rocking this forlorn wasteland whispers in your ears, “Não resta mais que uma sombra”.


Eloquaint
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19 Jan 2016, 9:43 pm

If you get lost in the woods, the best thing to do is find a downed tree and crouch underneath it while you wait for rescue.


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Spiderpig
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21 Jan 2016, 1:54 pm

If you find a big, dangerous-looking and enraged dog in your way, greet it with a big grin :mrgreen:


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The red lake has been forgotten. A dust devil stuns you long enough to shroud forever those last shards of wisdom. The breeze rocking this forlorn wasteland whispers in your ears, “Não resta mais que uma sombra”.


jrjones9933
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14 Oct 2016, 8:03 pm

Try Negativland for your next karaoke


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"I find that the best way [to increase self-confidence] is to lie to yourself about who you are, what you've done, and where you're going." - Richard Ayoade


DataB4
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14 Oct 2016, 9:06 pm

You've all heard the wise adage that the squeaky wheel gets the grease. So, on your next job interview, be sure to scream like a banshee.



old_comedywriter
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14 Oct 2016, 9:19 pm

The cheap way to make crack: You make it in your garage out of lip gloss, glass cleaner, butane lighter fluid,
chocolate milk, and - here's the secret ingredient from the drugstore - Preparation H.
Cook it at 350 degrees Fahrenheit (can't use Celsius so you can't make it in Canada) and voila, viola,
or violin - you got crack! Yes, you too can have a crack lab and put those meth heads to shame!

Adapted from "A Bloggery" by Old Comedywriter


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CherryCoffee
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14 Oct 2016, 9:29 pm

The quickest way to a man's heart is his stomach so grab your knife and get to work getting that heart! :heart:



jrjones9933
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14 Oct 2016, 9:30 pm

When you're a star, you can do anything.


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Sheila Nye
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17 Oct 2016, 8:31 pm

Eating at least one raw onion a day will cure bad breath.



jrjones9933
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17 Oct 2016, 8:33 pm

Discuss politics and religion.


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Lillikoi
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17 Oct 2016, 8:51 pm

Watch Pretty Cure. It won't rot your teeth out. :mrgreen:


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^
That guy is a dingus.


jrjones9933
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17 Oct 2016, 9:12 pm

You only have to watch the first two episodes of Ga Rei Zero to get the gist.


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"I find that the best way [to increase self-confidence] is to lie to yourself about who you are, what you've done, and where you're going." - Richard Ayoade


envirozentinel
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18 Oct 2016, 4:11 am

Spend a few minutes each day looking directly at the sun. The Vitamin D will absorb faster...


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Sylkat
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18 Oct 2016, 1:32 pm

Pet a Lionfish.

They look lonely.


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