Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, you vanish into thin air.

I wish for less crashes at Indy.

Fine, no more crashs. The only problem is that the engines of the cars have gone missing so everybody dies or boredem while waiting for the race to kick off.

I wish that my car would run equally well on water, petrol, used cooking oil or anything else liquid as fuel.

_________________
Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.

Granted. But water evaporates, so you lose fuel rather quickly.

I wish I lived in America.

Granted, you live under a bridge in Detroit with several other homeless people.

I wish for nothing.

Granted, the universe ceases to exist.

I wish I was the best looking guy in the world.

Granted, all the other guys named Guy die suddenly,
but you're still going to have to own Microsoft before you get a date.


I wish I could drive a double-decker bus around on the Queens' Rose garden
in Buckingham Palace!

Granted, but you are arrested for trespassing on and destroying royal property.

I wish I had an endless supply of free cigarettes and beer.

Granted, it but it's that high-acid store brand stuff, and it's also decaffeinated.

I wish I was the most-respected authority on every subject known to man.

granted!

*poof* you're the only man on earth, so you know everything, since all you know is now everything. the squirrels think you're awesome!

i wish i could drink coffee all day at my coffee-free work zone job.

Granted, due to a rare medical condition you have to drink twenty gallons of coffee a day. Consequently your desk is moved into the toilets. On the good side this is convenient for your many toilet trips, but rather unfortunate when colleagues stink the place out.

I wish for a productive day working tomorrow.

Granted, you increase the gross product by 1000%. However, this is not enough to save your company from bankruptcy.

I wish for Danica Patrick to win the Indy 500.

Granted, he wins the race and is posthumously given the win. It was very unfortunate to crash immediately after winning

I wish I had ten times more money in the bank than the next person to post!

Granted, you have now have 10 cents in your bank account! (like 1/12 a British pound I think)

I wish TallyMan knew Danica Patrick was a girl.

Now I do. But that means its impossible for me to corrupt the wish. Therefore I explode in a burst of logic.

I wish all car drivers drove with care and attention instead of like manics.

Granted. Now demolition derbies and other races can be viewed as boring or hilarious.
'Excuse me, my good man, may I be allowed the chance of smashing into the back of your transportation vehicle?'
'Certainly.'

Diarrhea sucks. I wish it never existed.