Write your own epitaph

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Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,618
Location: the island of defective toy santas

02 Feb 2012, 2:08 am

i'm no longer here. i'm up the bright stairs.
where the sky is clear, weather always fair.
so ignore your fear, forget your despair.
soon you too'll be here, up in heaven's airs. :idea:

syzygyish
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Joined: 3 Feb 2007
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,086
Location: swimming in the air

02 Feb 2012, 7:08 am

Damn!
Kill Bill 2 could have got me out of this!

I'll try the one inch punch without any training...

ow! ow! ow!

...OK, that didn't work, I'l try it again!

... ow! ow! ow!

...OK, that didn't work, I'l try it again!

... ow! ow! ow!

...OK, that didn't work, I'l try it again!

... ow! ow! ow!

...OK, that didn't work, I'l try it again!

... ow! ow! ow!

...OK, that didn't work, I'l try it again!

... ow! ow! ow!

...OK, that didn't work, I'l try it again!

... ow! ow! ow!

...OK, that didn't work, I'l try it again!

... ow! ow! ow!

...OK, that didn't work, I'l try it again!

... ow! ow! ow!

...OK, that didn't work, I'l try it again!

... ow! ow! ow!

...OK, that didn't work, I'l try it again!

... ow! ow! ow!

...OK, that didn't work, I'l try it again!

... ow! ow! ow!

...OK, that didn't work, I'l try it again!

... ow! ow! ow!

...OK, that didn't work, I'l try it again!

... ow! ow! ow!

Does this thing have an emergency escape hatch?
I'm requesting that they come as standard features!
...plus bandages!

_________________
Be kinder than necessary for everyone is fighting some kind of battle
-Jaleb

syzygyish
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Joined: 3 Feb 2007
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,086
Location: swimming in the air

02 Feb 2012, 5:44 pm

"I'm lying here
and that's the truth!"

_________________
Be kinder than necessary for everyone is fighting some kind of battle
-Jaleb

auntblabby
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Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,618
Location: the island of defective toy santas

02 Feb 2012, 11:22 pm

^^^
you forgot the "THBLBPTHBLBPTHBLBPT!! !"

Suspie
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Joined: 6 Feb 2012
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 478
Location: Kent, UK

08 Feb 2012, 10:22 pm

so long, suckahs!! !! !!

artrat
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Joined: 6 Nov 2011
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,269
Location: The Butthole of the American Empire

09 Feb 2012, 1:18 am

Holy crap! I am dead.

_________________
?During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act" ~George Orwell

"I belive in God, only I spell it Nature."
~ Frank Llyod Wright

b9
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Joined: 14 Aug 2008
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,003
Location: australia

09 Feb 2012, 1:46 am

blue_bean wrote:

"ThestonemasonsaidIcouldn'thavemorethan50charactersengravedhe"......

that is very funny except it is 60 characters.

auntblabby
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Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,618
Location: the island of defective toy santas

09 Feb 2012, 3:13 am

come up and see me sometime

syzygyish
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Joined: 3 Feb 2007
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,086
Location: swimming in the air

10 Feb 2012, 1:24 am

I was insured for $10 million bucks!
I's Rich, I tells ya!
Rich!
Rich!
Rich!
Woot!

:tongue:
:bounce:
:compress:
:cheers:

_________________
Be kinder than necessary for everyone is fighting some kind of battle
-Jaleb

auntblabby
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Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,618
Location: the island of defective toy santas

10 Feb 2012, 1:41 am

^^^
death is frequently a good [i.e., profitable] career move.

syzygyish
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Joined: 3 Feb 2007
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,086
Location: swimming in the air

10 Feb 2012, 7:17 am

And THAT'S why I think personal hygiene is unnecessary ...

_________________
Be kinder than necessary for everyone is fighting some kind of battle
-Jaleb

syzygyish
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Joined: 3 Feb 2007
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,086
Location: swimming in the air

11 Feb 2012, 8:00 am

Looks like the restraining order against me hanging around in cemeteries has expired...

_________________
Be kinder than necessary for everyone is fighting some kind of battle
-Jaleb

Cornflake
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Joined: 30 Oct 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 69,542
Location: Over there

11 Feb 2012, 8:37 pm

It's difficult to beat this one:

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Giraffe: a ruminant with a view.

Cornflake
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Joined: 30 Oct 2010
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Posts: 69,542
Location: Over there

11 Feb 2012, 8:45 pm

Hmm - or this one:

(Spike Milligan: "Dúirt mé leat go raibh mé breoite" translated from Irish is "I told you I was ill")

_________________
Giraffe: a ruminant with a view.

syzygyish
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Joined: 3 Feb 2007
Age: 57
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Posts: 8,086
Location: swimming in the air

12 Feb 2012, 6:23 am

Cornflake wrote:

Hmm - or this one:

(Spike Milligan: "Dúirt mé leat go raibh mé breoite" translated from Irish is "I told you I was ill")

That's actually the standard I set myself!

How about this:
"I can't afford to be sick, in today's economy"

_________________
Be kinder than necessary for everyone is fighting some kind of battle
-Jaleb

blue_bean
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Joined: 13 Apr 2006
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Posts: 10,617
Location: Behind the wheel

12 Feb 2012, 6:37 am

b9 wrote:

blue_bean wrote:

"ThestonemasonsaidIcouldn'thavemorethan50charactersengravedhe"......

that is very funny except it is 60 characters.

Oops. I knew I miscounted somewhere

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