Write the worst short story you possibly can

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One day my master tickled my tummy.

GrrrrrrRUff!! !

Assignment: Class field trip

One day we taked the trane too an odder plays. Is was a class feeld tripp. We getted there and we went into a museum with painteengs. It was very bauring. Then we eated pitsa. I wanted with shicken but everone ells wanted peperony. Ben throwed a meet ball at me so I throwed peperony on him. Only but I didn?t hit him, I hitted Cam instedd and then a big foud fite braked out and the teetcher gotted mad at us and she yellt at us. Then we went home. It was an very exiting day.

Master walked me early this morning.

He walked me along the seashore.

The sea looked inviting, but master forbid me to go in.

I chased a seagull and master smoked a cigarette.

We came back home.

Pant Pant!

There once was a film director named Michael Bay.

That's why there's syzygish

Hilarious!

~~~

Genre: soap horror

?Oh, David, I love you so much.?
?I love you, too, Rebecca.?
?Kiss me if you love me.?
?Sandra might come home.?
?No, she won?t.?
?OK.?

Right at that moment the door opened and Sandra came in.

?David, you?ll love this chicken teriyaki? OMG, who?s that woman!??
?Uh?, this is our new? servant Rebecca.?
?Oh, I didn?t know we were going to have one and she seemed to be about to kiss you.?
?No, darling, I?d never kiss anyone but you! Rebecca was already trying to seduce her new master.?
?OMG! What a cheap sl*t! I don?t want this b*tch in this house. Well, you?re fired, you sleazy b*tch.?
?All right. Rebecca, my wife doesn?t approve of you. Please leave immediately.?
?Well, I?ll show you my secret, David and Sandra. TRANSFORRRRRRRM!! !?

Rebecca transformed into a huge hideous monster towering over David and Sandra.

?WHICH OF YOU SHOULD I EAT FIRST? WELL, I GUESS BOTH OF YOU TOGETHER!! ! GRRRRRRR!! !?

Rebecca-monster devoured David, Sandra and chicken teriyaki. Then she transformed back to Rebecca, cleaned up and left David?s house.

The sun came up, scorched everything, then went down again.

He came, he saw, he farted. And his name was Julius Caesar.

The end.

I woke up yesterday and felt my world was ending. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't.

I was sick, sick, SICK, of life, of people, of EVERYTHING, you understand? I doubt whether you do.

So I dragged myself onto a bus and asked the driver for a Day Rover ticket.

"Can I go anywhere with this?", I asked.

"Yes, where do you want to go?"

"Well, I'd like to go to the Andromeda Galaxy, to investigate the Mystery of the Universe."

"I'm only going to Accrington, mate!"

"Okay then, that'll do."

I took my seat, and as the bus threaded its way through the sodden streets of Manchester, I began to ponder the murky mysteries of Accrington.....



To be continued, or more likely to be cancelled for unspecified reasons.....

One day my master threw a ball and I fetched it back for him.

*wags tail*

So then the new chair from the store had termites and they got out of the chair and got into the floor and they ate the house and the ceiling fell down and so everyone had to leave and then the house fell down and so everyone had to stay in the apartment because the house was flat.

Lool I like this! So true.

Attention, due to a lack of interest, this story is officially cancelled.

[img][800:1576]http://i.imgur.com/jrWdeMM.jpg[/img]

One day I was scratching a lot, so my master decided that I had fleas.

He sat me in a bucket in the yard and scrubbed me hard with a big brush, then he covered me with flea powder.

I have to wear a flea collar now.

I hate having a bath!

Grrruff!

Babybird's dog's flea jumped out of the bath tub.

And landed on me.

And it bites.