The surrealist compliment generator

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your legs are like threads of cotton, though much thicker, and filled with weevils.


............WTF?

The dimples of your breasts do pucker evocatively when you smile.


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Were giraffe's antennae to sprout from your barnacled elbows, one could but weep for the pretense of a fallen chamber pot.

Demonize your sofa. It will lend forth more peanuts between the cushions.

If I were to combine your blood, toes, and hair, it might not be you, but it would be enough for my basic desires.

Fighting for the liberty of the fruit tree tastes nothing like the glint of sagittarius rounding itself around your uvula. I know the time will soon arrive when we will see people manufactured in crates and seives of glass.

Entranced by the bitter harmony of your lips, I gaze beyond reason to find the oasis of your ruptured soul.


O.....k.....

You salivate strongly, like a platoon of army engineers trapped in a fit of malaria.

Your face is like an imperfectly shaven tennis ball.

You hail the calves as eloquently as any facade of Easter Island.

The expansion (and resultant rapid cooling) of your consecrated culotte sings the golden turnip with the mulatto touch-typist in my pants.


what the....heck?!

You enter while seven exits.

(I always though Seven was kewl. I miss watching ST Voyager...)

"That is irrelevant."

You are as truthful as a Communist in the streets of Milan.

You mutter such objects of equine delight that the mind's ability to sew slices of mordant ivory becomes tamed with visions of Tamils in Constantinople.

I like that one, quite a lot.

_________________
Never assume you know what I'm thinking, just ask for clarification.
"Not everything that steps out of line, and thus 'abnormal', must necessarily be 'inferior'. " -- Hans Asperger (1938)

If seen on a disintegrating smokestack, your eyelashes would certainly compell even a wayward band of masticating cod into a feverish frenzy.


some of these just feel...wrong...

I just keep hitting the reload button until it comes up with one I can understand:

"Your nose hair is pleasingly twisted with the roots of a bristlecone pine that is so precariously perched on the side of a cliff it may easily uproot and fall upon the Republican lobbyists below."

Being a visual thinker, this just gets me laughing so much with the imagery.

_________________
Never assume you know what I'm thinking, just ask for clarification.
"Not everything that steps out of line, and thus 'abnormal', must necessarily be 'inferior'. " -- Hans Asperger (1938)

I kind of like this one:

When faced with scathing winds and torrents pouring forth stain, your mind thinks cleverly to the leprous angels found in all train crashes.

I also liked,

You are more beautiful than a bouquet of fossils.

_________________
Never assume you know what I'm thinking, just ask for clarification.
"Not everything that steps out of line, and thus 'abnormal', must necessarily be 'inferior'. " -- Hans Asperger (1938)