Corrupt A Wish

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Granted! But the money is auto debited from your bank and you go negative.

I wish for straps straps and more straps

Granted. Same as how you corrupted Thatmew's wish.

I wish I have unlimited money in my bank account.

Granted! But it's all coming from other people's bank accounts!

I wish that I had a flying walrus.

Granted. He won't fly when you ride on him, however.

@X_Parasite: Hahaha... even better. LOL

I wish I can earn a lot of money by simply staying home.

Granted! But you can't leave home to spend it.

@theimperiousdork: You know, if all of the money is someone else's, then there are moral issues involved with using it, as well as the fact that it all becomes totally worthless once you've withdrawn too much.

I wish that I could change the color of objects by focusing on them and saying the desired color.

Granted. Unfortunately you acquire a speech impediment and can only say the word "grey". The world soon becomes a pretty dull place.

I wish I had a lasagne topped with lots of parmesan cheese, washed down with a bottle of decent red wine.

Granted, you had it, but don't anymore.

I wish I invented a language.

Granted, but only you can speak it - which accounts for the fact that nobody seems to understand what you talk about

I wish it was yesterday tomorrow when next Thursday comes around in the afternoon before breakfast.

Granted! But your calendar's all crumpled up.

Been there, done that. It only takes an afternoon. (Aside from filling in the dictionary, obviously.)

I wish that a 100-dollar Monopoly bill equated to 100i dollars.

Granted, you now have a fortune in "i" dollars. However "I"nca dollars have been obsolete for a few hundred years since the Spanish invasion. Gold would have been a better bet, except they stole most of that too.

I wish I was two hundred years younger.

Already granted, since i = sqrt( -1 ) which is part of the imaginary number system; and Monopoly money is basically imaginary money.

I wish someone would make me a sandwich.

Granted, while walking along minding your own business you hear a shout of "watch out below". Too late. A piano has just fallen on you. You are now a sandwich.

I wish I had a beef and mustard sandwich.

Granted. You had one, but then I stole if from you.

I wish I could return this Labyrinth DVD and get my money back.

Granted, but the customer service representative pretends you don't exist for as long as they can because they've had a bad day and a cut in pay.



I wish I could own a successful small business.

Granted, but the business model revolves around making sandwiches out of orphans and puppies.

I wish that e=mc^3.

Granted; it will remain small. It will never grow big.

@X_Parasite: Hmm... point taken.

I wish I could adjust the world's temperature and suit it according to my wants.