Corrupt A Wish

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The above doesn't count...

Granted. They're dead. Have fun.

I wish that the alien would do something with the cake already.

Oh alright fine. Granted. But your sister still hates you and your girlfriend anyways.

I wish I got a dollar for every character people post on the Internet.

Granted, but the figure is so high that the bank had an overflow error while processing your account resulting in it going negative and showing you were in debt to them by billions of dollars! They have repossessed everything you own and you have to live on the street begging for handouts.

I wish I understood what "fun" was. Apparently I'm incapable of having any - whatever "fun" is.

Granted. You now understand that fun is whatever you make it to be according to your own definitions. However, you also go mute, and are unable to verbally share this wisdom.

I wish a working replica of the Master Sword.

Granted, you now have a working replica of the master sword. Take care not to... oops too late. I can't believe you slipped and fell on your own sword!

I wish to sleep for a thousand years and wake up in a future world where everyone (including me) is healthy and happy.

Granted, but this scenario becomes the plot of the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode 1x29 The Neutral Zone.




I wish I could focus on reading my textbooks, get back on a normal sleep schedule, find a job/career, marry my girlfriend and have a happy marriage with her for the rest of our lives.

Granted, but you wake up the next morning and find that it was all just a dream. Oh, and it turns out that you are a parakeet.

I wish that I could see into the near-infrared frequencies.

Granted but you will need eyes the size of oranges....

Wish I can hear ultrasound....

Granted. Poof! You turn into a dog.

I wish someone would hurry up and buy these three 500GB hard drives & 2GB DDR3 RAM I'm selling on Craigslist.

Granted, but at one tenth the retail price because you're impatient. If you had waited, you would have sold them at a profit.


I wish that all flies in all universes would instantly turn into nothingness.

Granted, but now their predators eat people.

I wish that someone could turn this frown upside-down.

Granted. However, the mouth will be at the top, and the eyes at the bottom.

I wish my pay would never run out.

Granted, but there's a bird on your shoulder that pecks you whenever you say the word "table".

What? That seems pretty corrupted to me...

I wish that I could interface with SD cards using my fingers.

Granted! But it hurts like hell

I wish we didn't need to bother with digital cameras and could just off load pictures wirelessly from our brain.

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When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know.

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

Granted, but the uploading of imagery never ends and all data is property of the company which produced the implants. Be careful where you look.




I wish that Faster Than Light propulsion systems existed and were in use now.

Granted. But only aliens use them. We're still puttering along at a snail's pace.

I wish I could invent a virus that would infect all tobacco plants (and marijuana plants) on the planet and causes them to be instantly leathal to the people who smoke them.