Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, but you should have worked your target coordinates out a bit better. You forgot to allow for the motion of the Earth around the Sun and instead of arriving home you have materialised in the core of the Earth! Ouch!

I wish for a sunny afternoon so I can work in the garden.

Granted. The sun goes nova and now you've got all the sun you could ever want.

I wish the person that grants my wish would say "I wish I had a sex change operation".

Granted, your sex change operation is a success. However, your medical insurance doesn't cover the cost and you are given a huge bill to pay. So a word of warning to all those who think "I wish I had a sex change operation" to just make sure you have appropriate medical insurance cover.

I wish for no rain over the next few days.

Granted, Everyone now reads instructions properly, however, they still make their own interpretation of them or ignore them anyway.

I wish there were fewer tenses in French verbs.

Granted. Now there are tenses in English verbs.

I wish I wasn't a picky eater.

Granted, now you only have one choice of food: orange marmalade.


I wish that English had over 5,000 declensions for nouns and adjectives.

Granted. English is now more difficult than Tsez, no one can speak it, and Spanish becomes the official language of the US.

I wish that I could burn things (without any fire) with my mind.

Granted. You now have a microwave generator implanted in your brain. Unfortunately it gives you brain cancer shortly thereafter.

I wish I had all the power of the Q continuum.

Granted, you now have all the powers of the Q continuum. However, this gets the attention of an even more powerful race living in a different dimension who then kidnap you and use you as a slave rebuilding planets in their dimension - with a very large shovel and a Giga tons of rubble to move.

I wish for another slice of Marmite on toast.

Granted, another slice of Borg nanites on toast.



I wish that I could find work without having to shave my beard away yet again.

Granted, you have found work at the local circus where you become curator of the flea circus - and keep it in your beard.

I wish the hair on top of my head grew as fast as my beard. (I'm almost bald).

Granted. But you're still almost bald, you just have a few fast growing hairs like Homer Simpson, or you can grow them really long and wrap them around your head like a turban.

I wish I could uncorrupt my previous wish.

Granted; but that corrupt wish is incorrigible. No matter how hard you try, you can never un-corrupt it.

I wish I could pinpoint that person who destroyed my laptop's screen.

Granted, but beware: they have a pellet gun.



I wish to find out why a day on Mars is virtually the same amount of time as on Earth, but why Venus rotates in the opposite direction and its day is longer than its year.