Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, probably hovering so as not to touch the toilet seat she is dirtying...


I wish that one general ed course instructor wasn't so demeaning and rude.

Granted; he then becomes stupid.

I wish my cough was gone.

Granted. So are you.

I wish that I could set things on fire by snapping my fingers, but be unable to burn myself with this ability.

Granted. Then someone douses you with water, and you turn to steam and ashes.

I wish I am the greatest person in the world.

Granted. A meteorite wipes out everybody except you.

I wish George W Bush had never been president.

Granted; he becomes the village idiot, and terrorizes your community with his stupidity.

I wish I was absolute monarch of the Philippines and of the United States.

Granted. You become a giant monach butterfly that terrorizes the U.S. & Philippines; then Godzilla kills you.

I wish I had the same powers as Superman.

Granted; you forgot your underwear, however, and you gain bad reputation.

I wish I could come in anytime at my work without being tagged late.

Granted, they always tag you as being early for the following day and since you have arrived before your allotted start time it doesn't count and you don't get paid.

I wish people were more honourable and didn't take advantage of my trust and rip me off.

GRANTED! Now everyone doesn't trust you.

I wish my History professor wasn't such a cocky a-hole.

Granted, now he takes you into his study for "private" tuition

I wish my computer didn't keep crashing.

Granted. Now it won't turn on.

I wish that someone would define "liek".

Granted, either it's a really poor misspelling of the transliterated name of the first dog in space, or it's a reversal of the k and e of like.



I wish that all people were quicker to read and slower to reply.

Granted... Please wait for a while.

Granted. Isn't that annoying?

I wish that I could balance a cake on 2 fingers!

GRANTED! You end up eating the big cake and have a MONDO tummy-ache after.

I wish for some cake right now!