Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. All postage stamp production comes to a halt as there is now a postage stamp strike.

I wish I could live in an alternate dimension with access to Earth's internet servers.

Granted, but time moves a billion times faster in the alternate dimension which means your link to Earth's internet servers is very very very slow. Your entire life passes in the other dimension and only a few minutes pass on Earth.

I wish I had an atomic powered brain.

Granted. But the reactor gives you cancer.

~

I wish I had an evening off this week.

Granted, your place of work burns down, take off all the evenings and days too from now on.

I wish I had a more regular (and larger) income.

Granted, you are now a CEO. However, your company is Wal-Mart and you are now in charge of hundreds of thousands of disgruntled employees. Act quick, or they will hate you like they hate Lee Scott.



I wish I were never fired from Wal-Mart. Their allegation of "violent act" was such crap, even the police officer they brought there apologized to me for what they did and wished me luck on finding work again.

Granted, It seems I'm the CEO of WalMart so I've go the power to ensure you never get fired. We just need to work on the timeline though. Shall we go for a time paradox, self fulfilling time loop or parallel universe? Either way you don't get fired.

I wish I had the income of the CEO of Wal-Mart without the hassle.

Granted, there is the income in a single year of the CEO of Wal-Mart in the bank. You do not get any interest from it though.

I wish that the interest rate of banks were better.

Granted. You now make 0.26% interest instead of 0.25%. Now you can buy an extra Timbit each year.

I wish my sister would stop peeing on the toilet seat.

Granted, instead you find your bed keeps getting wet and smelling like ammonia, perhaps due to her being upset that you mentioned the toilet seat problem to her.




I wish that I could buy a rollover minute package for my phone... as of 12 tonight I lose 291 and can't do anything about it financially.

Granted. All 291 minutes are consumed by voice mails from telemarketers.

~

I wish my cell phone was incapable of receiving calls.

Granted, it seems that 42 year old ex Marines are the newest sex symbol, and young model types are committing suicide at record rates. Also, your recently deceased rich great uncle's lawyer is rapidly approaching 2 million in billable hours attempting to contact you.

I wish I could afford to winter in the South Pacific.

Granted; once you step the Southern Hemisphere, the world turns itself upside down, and winter sets in immediately.

I wish my time in rest days are slow, and time in work days are fast.

Granted, your rest days are now a real drag, slow and boring and your work days are frantic and you struggle to keep up.

I wish for the same wish as the next poster.

Granted, and it is my wish that comes true.

I wish for something interesting.

Granted: May your life be interesting. (Unfortunately that is a Chinese curse or words along those lines).

I wish for a bacon butty.

Granted, a bacon sandwich, however, the pork products were purchased from an area of Mexico where the farmers recycle human waste for fertilizing animal food, which in this case means the bacon is laced with flatworm cysts, which are a quick way to lose weight.



I wish that there were more than one store in my area to sell DVDs and computer games to, as it is the one store will take a $10 DVD and give $0.50 in exchange.