Where is my..... [Game]

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Probably being worn by a hipster in a coffee shop.

Where is my ticket to paradise?

Someone stole it.

Where is my heavy-rock guitar that I intend to play but I also intend to use it to hit my friend with out of anger?

Ozzy Osbourne heard of its hitting ability and decided to use it himself.

Where is my favourite tea mug?

Im using it.

Where is my blue agave plant?

A moonshiner took it to make homemade tequila

Where is my toothbrush?

In a laboratory being analysed for traces of deadly toothpaste.

Where is my Maths homework?

Your owl ate it, of course.

Where is favourite pillow?

In your chinchilla's bouffant.

Where is your pronoun?

Here! It's my pronoun!

Where's my lunchbox?

You forgot to take it to school with you. Oh no!! Now you'll have to have a school meal there and then you'll owe the school money cause apparently you still have to pay for it!! (This is true in my sister's case).

Where is my best-friend-break-up sympathy?

Hopefully no longer needed, because you've found a new best friend (or made up with the old one).

Where is my masters degree?

A karate master is using it to climb the corporate ladder.

Where is my cricket bat?

I got it right here! I have to ask, how did you manage to find so many crickets and glue them all together in the shape of a baseball bat?

Where is my opportunity for employment?

At McDonalds.

Where is my pirate ship?

Being used as a prop in the next Pirates of the Caribbean movie

Where's my favourite jacket?

At the end of a long, arduous journey filled with every obstacle imaginable. One foot in front of the other ...

Where is my grandfather clock?