Last person to post wins.

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I win so the evil moderators can't take the trophy/medal/etc

Because ... winner.

I win

What the f**k did yew just f*****g say about me, yew little birch? I’ll have yew know I grew top of my plot in the Shady Seeds, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Acaica, and I have over 300 confirmed roots. I am trained in willow warfare and I’m the highest tree in the entire US alder firs. Yew are nothing to me but just another plant. I will cut yew the f**k down with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my f*****g rings. Yew think you can get away with saying that s**t to me over the grapevine? Think again, elder. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of roots across the park and yewr stems are being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maple. The storm that cuts down the pathetic little thing you call your trunk. Yew're f*****g withered, elm. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can cut yew down in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my leaf stems. Not only am I extensively trained in photosynthesis, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Mangolia Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe yewr miserable ash off the face of the continent, you little spruce. If only yew could have known what unholy retribution yewr little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon yew, maybe you would have held yewr f*****g branch. But yew couldn’t, yew didn’t, and now yew're paying the price, yew goddamn idiot. I will s**t herbicide all over yew and yew will drown in it. Yew're f*****g dead, walnut.

I still win.

<hits freedoomed with a cosmic force blast rendering him incapable of taking any further wins>

Thanks for stepping aside I'm the right ruler of this holy relic..