Corrupt A Wish

Post Reply New Topic

Granted, they're fattening you up for slaughter

I wish for world peace.

Granted, the world is now way too quiet that there's nobody there but you.

I wish that I could see my girlfriend again?

Granted, but you find out that your girlfriend has been cheating on your with your best friend.

I wish to go on a cross-country road trip.

Granted, your car is hijacked and you are forced into the boot by the thieves who proceed to drive all over the country with you gagged and crumpled next to the spare wheel.

I wish I could invoke thunderbolts to strike down people who annoy me.

Granted, one day you got annoyed with someone but the lightening bolts backfired because this person was wearing a metal coat... Ouch.

I wish that everyday was sunny?

Granted, Personally I don't think your friends are very nice. Leaving you in the middle of the desert with no water... all in the name of a prank. Every day is sunny. Nearest oasis 100 miles walk.

I wish that it rained every day and the whole world was flooded.

Denied, Scotland stays sunny for a change, and we conquer the planet once we invent a giant hairdryer to dry the rest of the world out.

I wish I could lick my elbows?

Fine by me, the only problem is that when the rain starts to fall I will build an ark. I will stick in it myself, my wife, dogs, my special interest items and some aspies who I have a liking for but your car will have broken down and you will be able to reach the site of the grand aspie ark in time. So you will drown.

I wish that I was better at woodwork so I could do a better job of building the ark.

_________________
Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.

Opps I doubled with someone else.

You can now lick your elbows, this is becuase your tounge has grown to 18 inchs in length. The only problem is that while showing off your tounge to a friend you get spotted by a police man who arrests you as a mutant. You next get locked into the basement of Paddington Green high security police station where you spend the next decade having pins poked into your tounge as part of the investigation.

I still wish for woodwork skills

_________________
Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.

Granted, every time you tell a lie your wooden nose grows an inch.

I wish for a ham sandwich... surely that can be granted without mishap?

Granted, but the ham sandwich, just like the barbecue, gives you indigestion.

I wish for more coffee.

Granted, but it's dark, and there is the exact opposite amount of caffeine in it that you want.

I wish everyone was nice and understanding.

Yes, in your deeply drugged state at the asylum everyone seems nice and understanding, even the pixies and fairies that keep visiting you.

I wish for something nice to eat.

Granted, you can have the most wonderful of meals, just before you head for the electric chair.


I wish I had telescopic arms?

Granted, but you can't figure out how to use them, and there is no instruction manual.

I wish I lived on the nearest life suitable planet other than earth.

Granted, sadly the life is only suitable for marshins and there is not any other life friendly planet for humans rather than earth.

I wish I could have a book to read.